Recently, an article was brought to my attention on how to teach older kids work ethic. The approach used was by a person who considered herself an unschooler. As her kids reached about 11 years old, she began having them sit down and do math or some other subject the child was not very good at or did not like. Her approach is said to develop a work ethic in her kids. On the surface, it makes sense. What better way to learn to work through stuff you don't like than to be required to do so at a pivotal age?
This peaked my interest since I grew up with a strong work ethic. Before really reflecting, I would have given that credit to me having to do chores, complete my homework and take care of responsibilities. My parents had a strong work ethic. My dad was (and still is) always doing something that needed to be done. He grew up on a ranch, was a good student, and had a job on top of everything else. He did what needed to be done. As an adult, I am not quite sure what he does for enjoyment, except maybe watch a football on Sundays when everything else is done. My mom is a bit more relaxed but still takes care of business. She finds more time to do things she wants and enjoys. Even then, it is often serving others. She volunteers in an elementary school, works the food pantry that her church offers to the public, helps with breakfast for church services and assists in other related activities.
Then I pondered what my brother was like growing up. He did chores just like my sister and me. If that had any impact on his work ethic, it did not carry over into school. He was an average student (less than average in some classes). I know his senior he missed enough school to be dis-enrolled twice. He officially dropped out in the spring that year. He had a job in high school and was a typical employee. He did quit because he got mad or fed up about something. Then he went back because he wanted the paycheck. After dropping out he didn't want to work full-time and pay for his truck. So having a job did not build a work ethic. The following summer, he found his work ethic when he decided he didn't like his options. He knew he wanted something better than his current circumstances, which had gotten kinda bad. He got his GED and went to a tech school for a couple of years before joining the Air Force (a dream of his in childhood). He was drawn to hands-on work and was was content enough in the military. As he rose in the ranks and had to do more paperwork, he was a less content, but he was too close to retirement to give up. His work ethic developed with an initial interest which led to a habit which led to him staying in until 20 years of service even though he wanted out.
My step-son found his work ethic in Jiu Jitsu as young adult when he decided he wanted to attend one of the major competitions. He pretty much hated school, and no amount of school work he did was going build his work ethic. Jiu Jitsu had an affect on him that ignited his passion for the sport. He intends on pursuing it as a career in the next few years, knowing all the sacrifices he will have to make and all the hours that will have to go into training in order to do so. That is a pretty strong work ethic. And his job in the military has been purposeful, so he has also developed his work ethic because people's lives are on the line. He is with the special forces, so he sees first hand the difference he is making.
When I think about growing up, I am beginning to believe my strong work ethic at a young age had more to do with genetics/personality than it did with doing required work. I enjoyed school, so I naturally did well at it. As a result, I got rewarded over and over for doing well. It was a positive experience for me. Because of that, it developed into a strong work ethic. With chores, they had to be done, so we just got them done as quick as possible on chore days. I also did not like getting in trouble at all and did not want to make waves, so I did what was expected. As an adult I have a different motivation to complete household chores. I know I function better in a relatively clean and organized space, so I do what needs to be done without too much procrastination in order to have a less chaotic environment. Oh, and I like clean clothes, and not everything we eat holds up well on the cheap paper plates...
Thinking about all these things, did anyone really teach me my work ethic? I don't think so. I do, however, believe people can help others have a stronger work ethic by helping make it a positive and rewarding experience to work. And the positive experience leads to repeating the behavior enough for it to become a habit. And the habit develops into an intrinsic work ethic that lasts beyond the current venture or project. Can a work ethic be developed out of fear? Probably. But why would anyone want to take that approach with their kids when there is a better way?
At the core of it, I believe the most powerful element to drive a person's work ethic is their passion. When people follow their passions, they will often do things to achieve their goals that others could not even imagine doing. Musicians, dancers and actors are known for working crummy jobs in order to pay the bills. They may spend hours every day rehearsing and auditioning...only to be rejected over and over. They often live in rat hole apartments the size of a closet or with a bunch of roommates. It takes something deep from within to continue.
As I think back to the original article. Will forcing my children to do worksheets they don't like and requiring them to do chores develop a work ethic? I would have to say no. Not in and of themselves. Learning the value of the work and understanding the importance and purpose of it in an individual's life will develop an intrinsic work ethic. Learning that there are several steps to get from point A to point B, and not all of them pleasant, will help a person develop a work ethic. The satisfaction of accomplishing a goal or completing a project will develop work ethic, if it is something a person is proud of. Sending a kid out to mow the grass and chop wood on his own is a much less effective way than going out with him and working together. It is where building relationships and bonding will create a positive attitude toward work that will also lead to a stronger work ethic.
I apologize for not having a nicely packaged list for you to follow on how to get kids today to have a strong work ethic. Is anything really that simple, anyway? When you reflect back on your own life, what is it that gave you a strong work ethic? Come on, dig a little deeper...I bet there was more to it than being required to do your homework and wash the dishes....
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