There was a time in my life I could easily get to the gym. I would have my down seasons or times I was a little busier, but I always found my way back. Then I had kids. When I became pregnant the first time, I wanted to keep working out, but I was tired and nauseous all the time. I definitely gained more than I wanted. I did lose it all the first year. But it was not because I exercised. I would try to get out with the stroller, but the place I lived did not have sidewalks, and it eventually got hot. If I did not get out first thing in the morning, it was not going to happen.
As my son got older, we headed to the parks. He loved to play, and I followed him around and joined in. But nature walks were not gonna happen with him. Playing for hours was fine...walking around the block was not. And climbing around on toddler size playground equipment only challenges an adult so much. My son has never had a desire to be physically active by playing sports or running. He is more of an adventure type. He will play actively while acting out his stories. Even when playing video games, he will be on his feet jumping when the character jumps. Unfortunately, he is fast approaching the age where he will start to outgrow this type of play. I plan to make the most of it while I can. That is why it is so important to get our new yard fixed up this spring. We will be putting in a fort/playground. With any luck, we will also manage to get an above ground pool...not great for swimming, but great for active play. We may even get a tether ball. I loved playing with those when I was a kid. Of course, the warm weather will also mean more trampoline time. And my daughter has taken to being active like a fish takes to swimming. She is always running around and dancing. So the kids staying active is kind of taken care of. But where does that leave me?
I have household chores that give me some physical exercise. Sweeping floors, doing laundry, helping the kids pick up their messes, taking out the trash, chopping wood, bringing in 40 pound bags of pellets for the pellet stove, carrying around my daughter, carrying groceries. A lot of moving and lifting. Yard work is just around the corner, and that will help too. It just is not enough.
Did I mention I hate dieting? (I have never really committed to trying to, but I think about it many times). I can make smart choices in the kitchen and grocery store...as long as there are no sweets around. I have a terrible sweet tooth, and it takes a lot for me to just get tired of desserts and treats. The holidays kill me. All of them: Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's, Easter, birthdays. Why do we always celebrate with sweets?!? I would rather not have any sweets around. It is much easier to keep the scale from inching up.
For years, I have tried on and off to get back into the exercise routine. If you are a stay-at-home mom, you know how hard this can be. Kids love to interrupt anything you are doing for yourself. Two years ago, my husband gave me the treadmill I had been wanting. I pretty much never used it because the only time I could was when my daughter was asleep, and it made too much noise...who thought it was a good idea to have loud beeps on exercise equipment? I did not want to wake her up. Then we moved to a small apartment on campus where my husband got a new job. Housing options were limited. My treadmill went into storage. We had a great place to walk, but as I mentioned before, getting my son to come along was like pulling teeth. He was not old enough for me to feel comfortable leaving him, even though we were on a safe college campus. He still needed to mature some more when it came to thinking about safety.
When we moved to a new place this past summer, I thought I would finally have it made. We set up a gym in the spare room in the garage. I would try to bring the kids in there with me and get my son doing a few things. But that did not leave room for me to do a challenging workout. Instead of exercise being a stress reliever, it created more stress. When I left them inside, I always got interrupted by some "crisis" that could not wait. It made it hard to stay motivated. I felt like giving up! I asked myself if all the misses and stress created by me trying to unsuccessfully exercise was really worth it.
Then I remember that I am almost 40, and my kids are young. I want to be strong and healthy as they grow, so I can keep up. I want to be strong and healthy, so I may be able to enjoy grandkids one day. I want to be strong and healthy, so I can be there for my own parents as they get older. I want an active lifestyle, and as my kids get older, it may become easier. Eventually, they can stay home, and I can go without them to do things when they are not interested. Like rock climbing. I miss rock climbing. Every time I go to the city, I drive right past a rock gym and want to go.
Something amazing happened today. I decided to get out to my gym (my impending birthday reminds me I am getting older and have to start making it a priority). And I got in an hour-long workout without interruption. A whole hour! And I feel great! Maybe this will be the start of something new. Maybe the kids are ready to give me the time I need to make this happen at least a few times a week. Maybe not giving up and being willing to keep starting again will have finally paid off.
So if you are struggling with your exercise routine, no matter what the reason or excuse, don't give up on starting again. At least if you are always willing to start again, you maintain a sense of hope, and one day, you will not have to keep starting. Instead, you will keep going. In the meantime, I'll be hoping I will keep going. And maybe I will even be ready for an active summer at the swimming pool this year. Maybe I will even need to buy a new, smaller, swimsuit. If I manage to keep it up, I will share my journey with you in a few months.
So what have been your fitness successes?
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
The hardest thing about being a stay-at-home mom...self-care
When I was pregnant with my son, I read a lot of stuff about being a mom. I remember reading that it was important for me to take care of myself after the baby came. I vowed the one thing I would make sure I did for myself every day is take a shower. I also ate very healthy, but that was more because I was nursing and wanted to shed a few baby pounds. For six months I was successful at this. Then my son became more mobile, and he started eating more solids. And life was getting really mundane. Take care of baby, clean the house, do laundry, figure out dinner, stay inside because it was still like summer...hot and humid, and the baby was to little for me to take to the water (that was how I felt at the time).
Showers became less frequent, and some junk food snuck its way back into my diet. I still managed to reach my pre-pregnancy weight...only to add on a few pounds once I stopped nursing and the holidays came around again. There was not a gym close by, and walks in a stroller were not as easy as walking out the door. We had no sidewalks, and I got myself spooked by the neighborhood I lived in. I did not want to develop a routine of being out the same time all the time. Mostly new mother fears and husband fears.
After awhile, it seems like such an effort to get up, brush my teeth, take a shower, fix my hair, put on some make-up and put on something that matched. What was the point? My husband used to go to work early because he took his older son to school. And he came home late because of evening appointments...nobody can see a counselor during the day it seems. I didn't need to do it for him. He wasn't there to see me before I was run down by the day. My son was probably just going to get my clothes dirty anyway between spit-up, spills, and messy eating. Now that I live out in the country, I know when I will and will not see people. It is so easy to let things slide. The day goes by, and I think back and ask myself "Did I remember to brush my teeth?"
And when I pack on a few pounds, nothing in my wardrobe that is nice fits. Somehow, diapers and new clothes for growing children seems to take priority over getting new clothes for myself. Since we only have one income, I try to be budget conscious. And when I have extra money, I want to get something for the kids...whether it is something they need or want. It is easy to reach for the old t-shirt and cutoff shorts. It's not like I am going to see anyone. When I know I am going to be out, I make a little bit of an effort so I can at least not look like a train wreck. Occasionally, I buy a new t-shirt...only for it to get stained and ruined within just a few weeks. That's why I don't buy nice clothes. My anniversary was in December. I had one thing I could wear out that looked nice and put together. That was depressing!
Exercise is a whole other challenge in itself. I start and stop...mostly because my kids make the routine hard to maintain. They want to get right in the middle of it (or fight with each other and not get along while I am outside in our makeshift gym), and all I want to do is a challenging workout to get my heart rate up and build my strength again. And getting them to join in can be quite exhausting, especially since my son is not naturally inclined to be physically active, and my daughter is only 3. My son can play at the park all day, but the second I want to take a walk, it is too hot or cold or his feet hurt or he is tired. I am at my best for exercise in the morning, but it is like the stars have to be aligned just right for it to happen. In other words, it rarely happens that I get a good solid workout in.
When the days revolve around my kids, it also makes it really hard to pursue personal interests...especially when they are younger. Every time I do something for myself, I get interrupted at least 5 times. I lose my focus and concentration, and I have to put it away for another day. I even like to clean...when I know it will stay that way. Getting the house picked up enough in order to clean can even be frustrating. Kids can be like tornadoes with their toys, and they never want to confine the mess to the rooms because they want to be around others, not off by themselves and alone.
Things I would love to do: keep my house cleaner; sew a few things; decorate/remodel parts of my home; exercise; write more; make my daughter's early years scrapbook; cook and bake new recipes; landscape; exercise several times a week. The number of things I will accomplish on my own before my kids get a little older...probably none.
So if you know a stay-at-home mom, remember there are days she feels she is drowning. There are days she feels she is losing her identity. There are days she wants to put her kids in daycare or school and go back to work just to feel valued. There are days she just needs a helping hand. If you are able, do what you can to support her! She will appreciate it more than you will ever know. All she needs is a little fuel to keep going and stay on her chosen path of being a SAHM.
Showers became less frequent, and some junk food snuck its way back into my diet. I still managed to reach my pre-pregnancy weight...only to add on a few pounds once I stopped nursing and the holidays came around again. There was not a gym close by, and walks in a stroller were not as easy as walking out the door. We had no sidewalks, and I got myself spooked by the neighborhood I lived in. I did not want to develop a routine of being out the same time all the time. Mostly new mother fears and husband fears.
After awhile, it seems like such an effort to get up, brush my teeth, take a shower, fix my hair, put on some make-up and put on something that matched. What was the point? My husband used to go to work early because he took his older son to school. And he came home late because of evening appointments...nobody can see a counselor during the day it seems. I didn't need to do it for him. He wasn't there to see me before I was run down by the day. My son was probably just going to get my clothes dirty anyway between spit-up, spills, and messy eating. Now that I live out in the country, I know when I will and will not see people. It is so easy to let things slide. The day goes by, and I think back and ask myself "Did I remember to brush my teeth?"
And when I pack on a few pounds, nothing in my wardrobe that is nice fits. Somehow, diapers and new clothes for growing children seems to take priority over getting new clothes for myself. Since we only have one income, I try to be budget conscious. And when I have extra money, I want to get something for the kids...whether it is something they need or want. It is easy to reach for the old t-shirt and cutoff shorts. It's not like I am going to see anyone. When I know I am going to be out, I make a little bit of an effort so I can at least not look like a train wreck. Occasionally, I buy a new t-shirt...only for it to get stained and ruined within just a few weeks. That's why I don't buy nice clothes. My anniversary was in December. I had one thing I could wear out that looked nice and put together. That was depressing!
Exercise is a whole other challenge in itself. I start and stop...mostly because my kids make the routine hard to maintain. They want to get right in the middle of it (or fight with each other and not get along while I am outside in our makeshift gym), and all I want to do is a challenging workout to get my heart rate up and build my strength again. And getting them to join in can be quite exhausting, especially since my son is not naturally inclined to be physically active, and my daughter is only 3. My son can play at the park all day, but the second I want to take a walk, it is too hot or cold or his feet hurt or he is tired. I am at my best for exercise in the morning, but it is like the stars have to be aligned just right for it to happen. In other words, it rarely happens that I get a good solid workout in.
When the days revolve around my kids, it also makes it really hard to pursue personal interests...especially when they are younger. Every time I do something for myself, I get interrupted at least 5 times. I lose my focus and concentration, and I have to put it away for another day. I even like to clean...when I know it will stay that way. Getting the house picked up enough in order to clean can even be frustrating. Kids can be like tornadoes with their toys, and they never want to confine the mess to the rooms because they want to be around others, not off by themselves and alone.
Things I would love to do: keep my house cleaner; sew a few things; decorate/remodel parts of my home; exercise; write more; make my daughter's early years scrapbook; cook and bake new recipes; landscape; exercise several times a week. The number of things I will accomplish on my own before my kids get a little older...probably none.
So if you know a stay-at-home mom, remember there are days she feels she is drowning. There are days she feels she is losing her identity. There are days she wants to put her kids in daycare or school and go back to work just to feel valued. There are days she just needs a helping hand. If you are able, do what you can to support her! She will appreciate it more than you will ever know. All she needs is a little fuel to keep going and stay on her chosen path of being a SAHM.
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