It is that time of year again. The very busy holidays are over, and my mind is on next month. Decorating for the holidays, baking, shopping, and having company occupied my every thought. Things are slowing down now, and I can catch my breath. My routines are out of whack, and I look forward to evaluating the last year and laying down plans for the next year.
I want to take a closer look at how we spend our time during the day. With my husband being away at work more consistently this semester, I need to make sure we are using our time wisely and not kicking back too much. While I may have become an unschooler in the education realm of our lives and to some extent outside of it, I feel almost like we are slacking. I don't have a list of expectations or standards. I don't believe my kids are "behind." I do feel our lives have become uneventful and in some ways unfocused when it comes to what really matters. I feel like I am not giving enough to the unschooling approach. I have been too focused on getting settled after the move. I have been trying to get my house in order and organized. I have put some really important things too low on the priority list.
That is what I love about the new year. It gives us an excuse to start fresh and to do things differently. Many make new year's resolutions. I can't say that is what I am looking for. I just want a new perspective. And the first place that will happen is putting things back in place after the Christmas decorations come down. Since we have not yet decorated our home the way we want it, it gives me a blank canvas to imagine and experiment. It also motivates me to reorganize and change what has not been working as far a where things are. Six months living in our new place has given me a chance to think a lot about it, and I am ready to shake a few things up, although I need some downtime to consider what I want to do.
When is comes to my kids, I want to get back into our reading routines. It has been too easy to let this slide with everything else going on and the kids being involved in other things. But I believe they are missing out on a lot, so I need to get this back. And it is something they enjoy too. I need to play more preschool songs for my daughter. She loves to sing and dance, and I am not doing enough to engage with her on this. I need to pull out the board games my son so loves to play and get back to enjoying spending time with him instead of just taking care of him. I need to dive into Cub Scout stuff. It has been a rough year for it, so I have not been very committed. And while my son enjoys it, he does not ask to do it. I also need to step out into our new community and become more connected and involved. 4-H has been a good start, but I need to do more. (hmmm, I am noticing a pattern of things I "need" to do...nothing like putting pressure and stress on myself!)
I don't do well with making things happen without planning. I prefer to at least have a tentative weekly schedule. It helps me stay focused and use my time more wisely. It gives me direction and a goal of sorts. It helps me think about what I want to accomplish. I think my resolution for this year will have to be going back to using a calendar. It helps me get my household chores done. It helps me plan meals. It helps me stick to a routine. It helps me see what I have planned for the kids. It helps me be accountable to something. It can be easy to get lost in just being mom without it. But with planning, our lives can be more enriching and experiential. Of course, keeping it updated is the real challenge, but hopefully I can find the commitment to stick with it because it will have such a positive impact on our lives.
What do you plan to do differently this coming year?
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Pumpkin season means pumpkin tea bread
I love the fall. The turning of the leaves and the cooler temperatures remind me the holidays are just around the corner. That, of course, means baking. Growing up, we did a lot of baking. We loved decorating the shaped sugar cookies, being careful to give Santa a white beard, black buttons and belt, and a red suit. Our Christmas trees and angels were just as detailed. My mom made fudge and peanut brittle and other things through the years. Later, when I got married, I was introduced to a new recipe that is a favorite in my husband's family and now my own. Pumpkin Tea Bread. The first few years I made it, I followed the recipe exactly. It was the holidays so it was OK to splurge. However, splurging catches up with you...especially as you get older. Plus, when you are pouring a cup of oil into a bowl, it just SCREAMS bad for you! Because this is recipe is such a favorite, I tend to make it a couple of times during the season...more if I give any of it away. I had to find a way to adapt it where is was just as delicious but not so sinful.
Here is the original recipe (I have no idea where it originally came from, just passed down):
Here is the original recipe (I have no idea where it originally came from, just passed down):
Pumpkin Tea Bread
3
cups sugar
1
cup salad oil (mazola, etc)
3
eggs
2
cans canned pumpkin
3
cups flour
1/2
teasp. salt
1/4
teasp. baking powder
1
teasp. cloves
1
teasp.cinnamon
1
teaspoon nutmeg
1
teasp. soda
Mix
oil and sugar well. Add eggs, beat until well blended and
rather light.
Stir
all dry ingredients together (baking powder, etc).
Add
Pumpkin to creamed mixture, then add flour gradually.
Bake
in tube pan 1 hour 15 minutes 350 degrees. (I use two loaf pans
instead and it makes two loaf cakes.)
Keep
moist for days. Good with cream spreads.
Here is my adaptation:
Pumpkin Tea Bread
2 1/2 cups sugar
1/2
cup vegetable oil (because that is what I usually have)
1/2 cup plain apple sauce
3
eggs
2
cans canned pumpkin
3
cups flour (1-11/2 cups I use white whole wheat flour)
1/2
teasp. salt
1/4
teasp. baking powder
1
teasp. cloves
1
teasp.cinnamon
1
teaspoon nutmeg
(I don't always have all three spices, so I will use pumpkin spice as a substitute when needed)
1
teasp. soda
Mix
oil, apple sauce, and sugar well. Add eggs, beat until well blended and
rather light.
Stir
all dry ingredients together (baking powder, etc).
Add
Pumpkin to creamed mixture, then add flour gradually.
Bake
in tube pan 1 hour 15 minutes 350 degrees. (I use 3 smaller loaf pans
8 1/2 x 4 1/2 instead and it makes 3 loaves. I check it an hour.)
Keeps
moist for days. And it freezes pretty well too, just defrost unwrapped and eat within a day or two.
I have been doing this for a couple of years. I ask every time how it is, and I get the same response I did before the changes. No one seems to be able to tell the difference. That works for me!
***I was going to add pictures, but the batch I made the other day didn't last long enough...maybe next time :)
***I was going to add pictures, but the batch I made the other day didn't last long enough...maybe next time :)
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Holidays mean getting ready for company
It can take a lot of time getting settled into a new home. It can take even longer when some updates and repairs need to be made. And it can take even longer when your spouse works out of town on a regular basis and has a heavy workload. Christmas is just around the corner, and we are already getting ready for it. We are going to have a houseful, and we want them to be comfortable. We want the Christmas decorations to look like they belong. We want it to feel cozy. So, we have decided to finish our floors. When we first moved in, we ripped out all of the dirty, gross carpet (even in the bathroom). The only places we kept carpet were in three closets. The only rooms that we could wait on replacing flooring were the kitchen and laundry room. I officially hate tack board and staples and may never have carpet in my house again.
And you know what happens when you start remodeling...you find problems. The hot water heater and the flooring under it had to be replaced. Sub-flooring by one of the doors had to be replace...along with the doors. I can't stand french doors with the window grills. They can look nice but are a pain to clean. We discovered damage around one bathtub. We have to decide whether or not we rip out the garden jacuzzi tub in the master bathroom before putting the the new flooring down. I want a soaker tub that is not a big circle but I can lean back and relax in, but it takes up a lot less space than the monstrosity in there now.
We would also love to paint the walls...but that is quite a project in and of itself. It will likely not get done before everyone gets here...but you never know. Once the floors go down in the living room, we may not be able to resist, assuming we can make a decision on what we want. I have been experimenting with layout and where pictures and decorations will hang on the walls. That way, when the paint goes on, we won't be making any extra holes in the walls. Now we are considering bead-board in the living room. I love bead-board and wish we could use it in our bathroom or kitchen, but there just is not enough wall to make it worth it in my opinion. But the living room is a different story. Finally, we will have to get all the baseboards cleaned up and repainted so we can reuse most of them. If I had a money tree, we would just buy new ones. I've got to figure out the best way to remove the nails. Then they probably need to be sanded down a bit and repainted white. Unfortunately, we live in a windy area, so painting outside may not work unless we are going for a weathered look with bits of red dirt mixed.
It is really hard to leave a room unfinished.
In addition to completing some of our remodeling projects, I am trying to get everything organized. All those small piles of things I have not figured out where to put yet are finally finding a home. And the things that have a home are finding their way back to where they belong. The biggest challenge will be keeping it that way for the next six weeks.
I also can't wait to pull out the decorations and put them up along with a tree after Thanksgiving. I'm sure the kittens can't wait either. We might even gets some lights hung outside. I know I need to buy a few things because some of my stuff was damaged by moisture. So I am excited about shopping. I think my kids are too. Their eyes lit up the other day when we saw at the Christmas section in the store.
Hopefully, by the time company starts to arrive, we will have a mostly done home that is inviting and welcoming. I think that is what I want for Christmas this year. It may mean no gifts under the tree for me, but it is not necessarily a bad thing when Christmas gifts come early.
What are some of things you do to get ready for company during the holidays?
And you know what happens when you start remodeling...you find problems. The hot water heater and the flooring under it had to be replaced. Sub-flooring by one of the doors had to be replace...along with the doors. I can't stand french doors with the window grills. They can look nice but are a pain to clean. We discovered damage around one bathtub. We have to decide whether or not we rip out the garden jacuzzi tub in the master bathroom before putting the the new flooring down. I want a soaker tub that is not a big circle but I can lean back and relax in, but it takes up a lot less space than the monstrosity in there now.
We would also love to paint the walls...but that is quite a project in and of itself. It will likely not get done before everyone gets here...but you never know. Once the floors go down in the living room, we may not be able to resist, assuming we can make a decision on what we want. I have been experimenting with layout and where pictures and decorations will hang on the walls. That way, when the paint goes on, we won't be making any extra holes in the walls. Now we are considering bead-board in the living room. I love bead-board and wish we could use it in our bathroom or kitchen, but there just is not enough wall to make it worth it in my opinion. But the living room is a different story. Finally, we will have to get all the baseboards cleaned up and repainted so we can reuse most of them. If I had a money tree, we would just buy new ones. I've got to figure out the best way to remove the nails. Then they probably need to be sanded down a bit and repainted white. Unfortunately, we live in a windy area, so painting outside may not work unless we are going for a weathered look with bits of red dirt mixed.
It is really hard to leave a room unfinished.
In addition to completing some of our remodeling projects, I am trying to get everything organized. All those small piles of things I have not figured out where to put yet are finally finding a home. And the things that have a home are finding their way back to where they belong. The biggest challenge will be keeping it that way for the next six weeks.
I also can't wait to pull out the decorations and put them up along with a tree after Thanksgiving. I'm sure the kittens can't wait either. We might even gets some lights hung outside. I know I need to buy a few things because some of my stuff was damaged by moisture. So I am excited about shopping. I think my kids are too. Their eyes lit up the other day when we saw at the Christmas section in the store.
Hopefully, by the time company starts to arrive, we will have a mostly done home that is inviting and welcoming. I think that is what I want for Christmas this year. It may mean no gifts under the tree for me, but it is not necessarily a bad thing when Christmas gifts come early.
What are some of things you do to get ready for company during the holidays?
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Thanksgiving
It's that time of year where people begin to reflect on their blessings. Some of our friends on Facebook will begin the month of giving thanks challenge. I did it a couple of years ago. It can can be difficult to come up with a new thing to be thankful for every day for a month. But it was a challenge worth taking on, and I love reading what other people post because it helps remind me to be thankful for all things big and small.
When I think back over the years, I really have so much to be thankful for. I have a twin sister and an elementary school friend who are my best friends, even though we live nowhere close. Those types of longtime friendships are hard to come by. I have also made friends along the way. Facebook has helped me keep in touch with some of them even though I have moved a lot. Facebook has also led to new friendships, even if they are only online because of the distance.
I have never been homeless or gone hungry. I have never lost a home and all my possesions to a fire. I have never had my home broken into. And while I had my car stolen from me and almost had my purse stolen, I have never been harmed by anyone in a violent way. Even when we had our bank card compromised and had $300 stolen from us recently, the bank credited the money back within a few days and made it official a couple of weeks ago that it was stolen. Who would have thought it happening at the end of the month when our account was at its lowest would have also been a blessing...otherwise the criminal would have taken a lot more, and we would not have been able to pay bills.
We have had medical issues arise, but for the most part, we have stayed healthy and out of hospitals. This may not always be the case, but for now it is. My kids were healthy when they were born with no complications. No cancer, no heart defects, no physical deformities, no learning disabilities. Just bad baby teeth. Thankfully, those get replaced naturally.
We have survived some tough times financially, but anytime one door closed, another opened, and we have always managed to keep a paycheck coming in. And when times got really tough, we were able to take advantage of government programs during a transitional period.
Most recently, we have been able to purchase a home with a beautiful view in the back and front yard. We get to see beautiful New Mexico sunrises and sunsets. And while it needs a lot of TLC, it 10 acres of dreams to come. We have kind neighbors, and we have some family close by.
I am able to stay home with my kids, and I am able to homeschool them, something I have always wanted to do. My husband has always made that possible through his work ethic and commitment to this family. Even though we have our bad days, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
I come from a family that has never betrayed me. While it is not perfect, I know we love each other.
I have a vehicle that is reliable and spacious. And it has a dvd player for the kids. It is a big help when I travel alone since it is hard to manage kids while driving. My kids love each other and for the most part like being around each other.
I found great deals on a used full size freezer and refrigerator, and I have lots of kitchen cabinets. I have plenty of room to store food. Even though I live rurally, I have access to decent internet and boosters so my cell phone works, at least part of the time. My husband still has unlimited internet on his phone, which helps him when he has to work away from the office. We even have Skype so we can see each other (and my baby niece from time to time). We were able to find a used RV that he can use as a home while he is away a few days a week. And we can use for long trips when we want to travel.
We got to have a dream wedding on a beach with our closest friends and family. And after 11 years of marriage, we are still choosing to honor our commitment. We are blessed to be two people that don't run when things get hard.
My husband has been able to pursue his dream of teaching and getting a PhD. I was able to obtain a Masters degree. At the same time, we can both appreciate the fact that school at any level is not the only way to find success in a career.
Finally, I have a Kuerig that makes great coffee...especially on those mornings when I wake up way too early and know I am not going back to sleep (like this morning).
Life is good.
When I think back over the years, I really have so much to be thankful for. I have a twin sister and an elementary school friend who are my best friends, even though we live nowhere close. Those types of longtime friendships are hard to come by. I have also made friends along the way. Facebook has helped me keep in touch with some of them even though I have moved a lot. Facebook has also led to new friendships, even if they are only online because of the distance.
I have never been homeless or gone hungry. I have never lost a home and all my possesions to a fire. I have never had my home broken into. And while I had my car stolen from me and almost had my purse stolen, I have never been harmed by anyone in a violent way. Even when we had our bank card compromised and had $300 stolen from us recently, the bank credited the money back within a few days and made it official a couple of weeks ago that it was stolen. Who would have thought it happening at the end of the month when our account was at its lowest would have also been a blessing...otherwise the criminal would have taken a lot more, and we would not have been able to pay bills.
We have had medical issues arise, but for the most part, we have stayed healthy and out of hospitals. This may not always be the case, but for now it is. My kids were healthy when they were born with no complications. No cancer, no heart defects, no physical deformities, no learning disabilities. Just bad baby teeth. Thankfully, those get replaced naturally.
We have survived some tough times financially, but anytime one door closed, another opened, and we have always managed to keep a paycheck coming in. And when times got really tough, we were able to take advantage of government programs during a transitional period.
Most recently, we have been able to purchase a home with a beautiful view in the back and front yard. We get to see beautiful New Mexico sunrises and sunsets. And while it needs a lot of TLC, it 10 acres of dreams to come. We have kind neighbors, and we have some family close by.
I am able to stay home with my kids, and I am able to homeschool them, something I have always wanted to do. My husband has always made that possible through his work ethic and commitment to this family. Even though we have our bad days, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
I come from a family that has never betrayed me. While it is not perfect, I know we love each other.
I have a vehicle that is reliable and spacious. And it has a dvd player for the kids. It is a big help when I travel alone since it is hard to manage kids while driving. My kids love each other and for the most part like being around each other.
I found great deals on a used full size freezer and refrigerator, and I have lots of kitchen cabinets. I have plenty of room to store food. Even though I live rurally, I have access to decent internet and boosters so my cell phone works, at least part of the time. My husband still has unlimited internet on his phone, which helps him when he has to work away from the office. We even have Skype so we can see each other (and my baby niece from time to time). We were able to find a used RV that he can use as a home while he is away a few days a week. And we can use for long trips when we want to travel.
We got to have a dream wedding on a beach with our closest friends and family. And after 11 years of marriage, we are still choosing to honor our commitment. We are blessed to be two people that don't run when things get hard.
My husband has been able to pursue his dream of teaching and getting a PhD. I was able to obtain a Masters degree. At the same time, we can both appreciate the fact that school at any level is not the only way to find success in a career.
Finally, I have a Kuerig that makes great coffee...especially on those mornings when I wake up way too early and know I am not going back to sleep (like this morning).
Life is good.
Friday, October 24, 2014
A day in the life of our unschooling journey
Today is a Friday. It is a typical day...sort of. My son is sick, so he has to take it easy. He has been playing with his Angry Birds Go cars, watching some Youtube videos, and successfully keeping food down. He even tried something new to him today...Tang. My husband and I loved it growing up. He now seems to have mustered up the energy to play on the Wii. Funny how that works when they don't feel good.
Today has already been busy. Laundry. Unloading the dishes. Feeding the kids breakfast. I even did a little fall cleaning (ok, so I looked around and noticed a lot of dust, and since I did a lot of cleaning up yesterday--still trying to find where to put stuff since we moved--the dust was even more noticeable!). Ceiling fans. Spider webs. Dusting. I am also getting the floors prepped to lay new flooring. Half our house just has sub-flooring at the moment from having ripped up the carpet. My daughter has been busy chasing the cats, dressing up like Elsa, trying to make her glider fly, jumping on the trampoline, riding the four wheeler, and playing with plastic animals. I'm sure later she will want to watch Disney's Cinderella again. We got it from Netflix yesterday. We got to sample some chocolate we bought from a local school fundraiser too. I hope the boxes last a few days. Maybe I need to let my son hide them from me and my daughter....
Later, my son and I are going to finish a Minecraft Creeper costume and read some more about Pilgrims. My husband is a history buff and believes having a sense of our history is important (I agree. It is the only way we can actually appreciate humanity and understand the struggles that people can survive.) With Thanksgiving right around the corner, why not learn about its roots? The writer of The Magic Tree House series has a great collection of fact checker books to go along with some of the stories she has written. My son is much more open to them than reading some other non-fiction book on the same topic. He is already connected to the author and characters from the books. We will probably finish up one of the Cub Scout achievements today. We have been learning a little about Tall Tales. His favorite is John Henry. He gets to put the US map on the wall to use and see where some of the stories took place. I have also been told my son and I are going to make a stuffed Mario poison mushroom today. If we get to it, my son will get some thread and needle practice. Then we need to start preparing for the Cub Scout Space Derby that takes place in a few weeks. That means sanding and painting practice.
Lately, we have had a full plate of activities that are also enriching. We went to a Spanish Colonial Days at a museum and saw several demonstrations--blacksmithing, grinding corn, learning how an old flour mill worked, weaving, making rope, etc. We all learned something. The Pumpkin Chunkin contest is held down the street from where we live. A special guest came to story time this week and showed us how a smaller cannon worked. He used gourds as ammo. Every week both kids go to story time for their age group and hear a story and do a related craft. We got to go on a fire station tour last week for Cub Scouts and made fondant at 4-H. At some point soon, my son will get to try out an art class through 4-H and possibly photography and practicing his bow and arrow skills. Next month we get to participate in charitable giving for different groups in our community and some community service projects through Cub Scouts and 4-H. We also get to visit a popcorn company and learn about how they make it and how their company operates.
In addition to all that, there are several books we got from the library...some fact checker books about twisters and mummies, some other Magic Tree House books, which all have an element of history in them, a book about Brazil (the Rio movies brought on this interest) and Washington DC, and a book about spies that just sounds fun. We also spent a lot of time recently learning about the Revolutionary War (thanks again Magic Tree House for the fact checker book, a historical fiction book we read, and Liberty Kids).
The thing is, there is so much to learn just through living an active life. I love that I have discovered the freedom of unschooling. All the things we have studied have been influenced by my son's interests. These are just some of things he has been interested in all on his own. When he was younger, he had a great interest in space and the human body brought on by The Magic School Bus video series. Right now, with his interest in Minecraft, he has been able to make connections to things he learned from the blacksmith and things he saw at the history museum and the zoo. It also encourages him in his spelling since he hates having misspelled words. Math concepts come up all the time, whether he is playing Minecraft, a board game, or is just plain curious. At the grocery store he likes to use the scale. In addition, he has learned about sales tax and comparison shopping because of wanting to spend his allowance. Then there is the bits of information I come across and share with my kids. I tell my son about things like the blood moon and partial solar eclipse and other things that come up in the news or other interesting things I hear about.
When we can learn so much through our own passions and interests and by being around others, why is it necessary to box ourselves in with curriculum and standards? I realize I am fortunate to be able to homeschool my kids. What I consider even more fortunate is that I have come to truly understand learning. Sometimes, for a moment, I get sucked back in to the school model of learning...and then I catch myself. Old habits die hard. I remind myself that just because it is school does not mean it is the best or only way to do things. As long as my children can learn who they are and learn their strengths and weaknesses and passions, and as long as they can learn to read and write and do some math along the way, none of the rest matters. Some of the things they do throughout their journey will help them discover themselves, so it is important I always offer new information and resources and not let life get stagnant. Other than that, there are no other rules. If they figure out what they are best suited for, they will have such and interest or passion that they will learn the skills and knowledge needed in order to pursue that interest. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs did not get into computers because it was a classroom requirement. Ben Franklin did not become a great inventor because he was required to be an apprentice for his brother. The list of anecdotal evidence could take a lifetime to write about.
The most important gift we can give our kids is to help them unlock their potential and help them find the path intended for them. The method may be different for each kid, but one sure way not to unlock it is by creating fear of failure and by not supporting them when they try to explore what interests them or spread their wings.
So what have you done to help your child or someone else discover who they are?
Today has already been busy. Laundry. Unloading the dishes. Feeding the kids breakfast. I even did a little fall cleaning (ok, so I looked around and noticed a lot of dust, and since I did a lot of cleaning up yesterday--still trying to find where to put stuff since we moved--the dust was even more noticeable!). Ceiling fans. Spider webs. Dusting. I am also getting the floors prepped to lay new flooring. Half our house just has sub-flooring at the moment from having ripped up the carpet. My daughter has been busy chasing the cats, dressing up like Elsa, trying to make her glider fly, jumping on the trampoline, riding the four wheeler, and playing with plastic animals. I'm sure later she will want to watch Disney's Cinderella again. We got it from Netflix yesterday. We got to sample some chocolate we bought from a local school fundraiser too. I hope the boxes last a few days. Maybe I need to let my son hide them from me and my daughter....
Later, my son and I are going to finish a Minecraft Creeper costume and read some more about Pilgrims. My husband is a history buff and believes having a sense of our history is important (I agree. It is the only way we can actually appreciate humanity and understand the struggles that people can survive.) With Thanksgiving right around the corner, why not learn about its roots? The writer of The Magic Tree House series has a great collection of fact checker books to go along with some of the stories she has written. My son is much more open to them than reading some other non-fiction book on the same topic. He is already connected to the author and characters from the books. We will probably finish up one of the Cub Scout achievements today. We have been learning a little about Tall Tales. His favorite is John Henry. He gets to put the US map on the wall to use and see where some of the stories took place. I have also been told my son and I are going to make a stuffed Mario poison mushroom today. If we get to it, my son will get some thread and needle practice. Then we need to start preparing for the Cub Scout Space Derby that takes place in a few weeks. That means sanding and painting practice.
Lately, we have had a full plate of activities that are also enriching. We went to a Spanish Colonial Days at a museum and saw several demonstrations--blacksmithing, grinding corn, learning how an old flour mill worked, weaving, making rope, etc. We all learned something. The Pumpkin Chunkin contest is held down the street from where we live. A special guest came to story time this week and showed us how a smaller cannon worked. He used gourds as ammo. Every week both kids go to story time for their age group and hear a story and do a related craft. We got to go on a fire station tour last week for Cub Scouts and made fondant at 4-H. At some point soon, my son will get to try out an art class through 4-H and possibly photography and practicing his bow and arrow skills. Next month we get to participate in charitable giving for different groups in our community and some community service projects through Cub Scouts and 4-H. We also get to visit a popcorn company and learn about how they make it and how their company operates.
In addition to all that, there are several books we got from the library...some fact checker books about twisters and mummies, some other Magic Tree House books, which all have an element of history in them, a book about Brazil (the Rio movies brought on this interest) and Washington DC, and a book about spies that just sounds fun. We also spent a lot of time recently learning about the Revolutionary War (thanks again Magic Tree House for the fact checker book, a historical fiction book we read, and Liberty Kids).
The thing is, there is so much to learn just through living an active life. I love that I have discovered the freedom of unschooling. All the things we have studied have been influenced by my son's interests. These are just some of things he has been interested in all on his own. When he was younger, he had a great interest in space and the human body brought on by The Magic School Bus video series. Right now, with his interest in Minecraft, he has been able to make connections to things he learned from the blacksmith and things he saw at the history museum and the zoo. It also encourages him in his spelling since he hates having misspelled words. Math concepts come up all the time, whether he is playing Minecraft, a board game, or is just plain curious. At the grocery store he likes to use the scale. In addition, he has learned about sales tax and comparison shopping because of wanting to spend his allowance. Then there is the bits of information I come across and share with my kids. I tell my son about things like the blood moon and partial solar eclipse and other things that come up in the news or other interesting things I hear about.
When we can learn so much through our own passions and interests and by being around others, why is it necessary to box ourselves in with curriculum and standards? I realize I am fortunate to be able to homeschool my kids. What I consider even more fortunate is that I have come to truly understand learning. Sometimes, for a moment, I get sucked back in to the school model of learning...and then I catch myself. Old habits die hard. I remind myself that just because it is school does not mean it is the best or only way to do things. As long as my children can learn who they are and learn their strengths and weaknesses and passions, and as long as they can learn to read and write and do some math along the way, none of the rest matters. Some of the things they do throughout their journey will help them discover themselves, so it is important I always offer new information and resources and not let life get stagnant. Other than that, there are no other rules. If they figure out what they are best suited for, they will have such and interest or passion that they will learn the skills and knowledge needed in order to pursue that interest. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs did not get into computers because it was a classroom requirement. Ben Franklin did not become a great inventor because he was required to be an apprentice for his brother. The list of anecdotal evidence could take a lifetime to write about.
The most important gift we can give our kids is to help them unlock their potential and help them find the path intended for them. The method may be different for each kid, but one sure way not to unlock it is by creating fear of failure and by not supporting them when they try to explore what interests them or spread their wings.
So what have you done to help your child or someone else discover who they are?
Friday, October 3, 2014
Slow Cooker Cooking
A couple of weeks ago, I purchased a Hamilton Beach no frills an 8 quart slow cooker. I was worried it would be too big. I was worried I would have trouble making recipes work for it that were designed for the smaller 4 quart size. So far, it was wasted worry. I also recently got a great deal on a used upright freezer. I now have to fill it up. I finally get to try all those recipes for fifteen days of freezer meals...many of which are perfect for the slow cooker. I can also stock up on meat when it is on sale....especially with turkey season right around the corner.
I have been able to try out my cooker twice now. I made a 2 pound batch of pinto beans. I also cooked a whole chicken. Both turned out perfect. I found a great chicken recipe I want to share here. It will be my go-to recipe from now on.
Here are the links (and here) to the recipes I basically followed.
This is what I actually did:
Then I followed another suggestion in one of the links above. I deboned the chicken and left all the extra stuff in the pot, added an onion, two stalks of celery, and two carrots and some bay leaves. I also added a little salt, but I figured salt can always be added with future recipes. I filled the pot up with water, turned it on low, and went to bed. The next morning, I had chicken stock! I strained it and let it cool. I skimmed some of the fat (got too impatient to wait until it was cold and easy to get off). Then I divided to stock into several small plastic containers. And now that I have a new freezer, I have a place to keep them until the next time they are needed. I no longer have to buy it in the can...which is nice with cold weather and holidays just around the corner.
I can't wait to make more use of my slow cooker. It will actually come in really handy the next several days. The igniter for the bake setting on my oven has been out, and it has been difficult to find the replacement. Even when I get back in working order next week, this chicken recipe is officially my go to approach. No more turning the oven up to 450 degrees and then turning it down. No more dry chicken at 350 degrees. No more oven to clean as a result of grease (don't always trust the results of comparison testing when researching online...). I did not even have to butter or oil the chicken. So it is also a healthier way to prepare it.
I have been able to try out my cooker twice now. I made a 2 pound batch of pinto beans. I also cooked a whole chicken. Both turned out perfect. I found a great chicken recipe I want to share here. It will be my go-to recipe from now on.
Here are the links (and here) to the recipes I basically followed.
This is what I actually did:
- 2 teaspoons paprika
- 4 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon onion powder
- 1 teaspoon thyme
- ½ teaspoon garlic powder
- ¼ teaspoon black pepper
- 1 large chicken (I used the Tyson chickens they sell in the 2-packs)
Then I followed another suggestion in one of the links above. I deboned the chicken and left all the extra stuff in the pot, added an onion, two stalks of celery, and two carrots and some bay leaves. I also added a little salt, but I figured salt can always be added with future recipes. I filled the pot up with water, turned it on low, and went to bed. The next morning, I had chicken stock! I strained it and let it cool. I skimmed some of the fat (got too impatient to wait until it was cold and easy to get off). Then I divided to stock into several small plastic containers. And now that I have a new freezer, I have a place to keep them until the next time they are needed. I no longer have to buy it in the can...which is nice with cold weather and holidays just around the corner.
I can't wait to make more use of my slow cooker. It will actually come in really handy the next several days. The igniter for the bake setting on my oven has been out, and it has been difficult to find the replacement. Even when I get back in working order next week, this chicken recipe is officially my go to approach. No more turning the oven up to 450 degrees and then turning it down. No more dry chicken at 350 degrees. No more oven to clean as a result of grease (don't always trust the results of comparison testing when researching online...). I did not even have to butter or oil the chicken. So it is also a healthier way to prepare it.
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Living real in the kitchen...and making pizza
As a mom and a health conscious adult, it is soooo hard to keep it real in the kitchen. I make small changes here and there, but sometimes the less healthy choices win out. Like when I have not gotten around to making bread, and I pull out the generic white bread from the freezer. Or the fact that my son loves frozen ravioli...which does not have a whole wheat option. Or when I choose the cancer causing Hunts spaghetti sauce at a dollar a can--you know, the one with that dangerous coating on the inside--instead of the glass jars that are at least 60 cents more. We eat a lot of pasta, so it can really start to add up! Or when I look for frozen fish fillets, I choose ones that do not come from China, but I am not sure the other Southeast Asia countries are better. I like the idea of trying fresh from the cow milk, but having a milk cow or driving to town an hour away just to get some does not make sense (neither does the price when I am on a budget!). I would even go for organic, but at $6+ a gallon and almost 3 gallons a week...not gonna happen. I always try to have fresh fruit and veggies around, but sometimes I just have to reach for the cans in the cupboard. And don't even get me started on the eggs...we go through a lot of those too. Free-range, cage free, natural, omega 3, organic, white, brown...how do you choose without going over on the budget?
I become conflicted because I know what I grew up eating, and I turned out fine. But then I think about how high cancer rates are, and I think maybe I can help us eat in a way that will help us not get it. Except for the fact we cannot live in a bubble. Who is to say it is not pollution or the paint on the walls that prevents our bodies from being strong enough to stay healthy? So I tend to balance out the bad with an effort to make the right choices for my family...without becoming the food police. I buy organic sometimes just to support organic foods and hopefully help to bring its cost down more. But I can't do it all the time because money is tight when raising a family. Do we eat at McDonald's? Yes. Do I feel guilty about it? Sometimes. But sometimes their fries or a Dr Pepper hit the spot. And the kids get a toy fix...something that makes the long drive home a bit more bearable. Plus, sometimes I just don't want to cook, and I don't want to pay a lot to eat somewhere else that might be better when we are out running errands.
On top of everything else, I have a terrible sweet tooth. When sweets are in the house, it is hard for me to resist. My personal favorite is sugary cereal as a late night snack. And I don't think getting everything all natural and organic will keep the pounds off my hips...but that is another post. At the same time, I also don't want to keep my kids from enjoying dessert. The newest addition to our kitchen is coming in the mail...an ice cream maker. At least I will know what is going into my ice cream and frozen yogurt....
Eating real food in the kitchen is quite a challenge, but changing one thing at a time will hopefully get me there down the road. Until then, when I try a new recipe that is a healthier choice or I have adapted an old favorite, I will share with you the good...and the not so good as I get more adventurous. I may even share a few I like that may not be the healthiest but the ingredient list will be one you can probably feel good about eating...after all, it will be homemade!
Today at my house, we are having pizza for lunch. Who doesn't like pizza? This it the recipe I use to make dough. I use my bread machine, and after an hour and a half, I roll it and stretch it out onto my 16 inch pizza pan with holes in it. I shred mozzarella cheese so there are no added ingredients to prevent caking, and I use pizza sauce that comes in a jar or spaghetti sauce if there is no pizza sauce cupboard. I recently started buying the organic Wild Oats products from Wal-Mart (it is a step in the right direction, even if some people are against the brand!), so I may start using their spaghetti sauce just to make it a bit healthier. I have already tried it a few times for pasta dishes. Sometimes I add flavoring to the dough like garlic powder or Italian seasoning, but I don't think it adds much to this dough (other recipes I have tried, I HAD to add because the dough had no taste).
Whole Wheat Pizza Dough (original recipe found here)
Now it is time to dig in and enjoy!
I become conflicted because I know what I grew up eating, and I turned out fine. But then I think about how high cancer rates are, and I think maybe I can help us eat in a way that will help us not get it. Except for the fact we cannot live in a bubble. Who is to say it is not pollution or the paint on the walls that prevents our bodies from being strong enough to stay healthy? So I tend to balance out the bad with an effort to make the right choices for my family...without becoming the food police. I buy organic sometimes just to support organic foods and hopefully help to bring its cost down more. But I can't do it all the time because money is tight when raising a family. Do we eat at McDonald's? Yes. Do I feel guilty about it? Sometimes. But sometimes their fries or a Dr Pepper hit the spot. And the kids get a toy fix...something that makes the long drive home a bit more bearable. Plus, sometimes I just don't want to cook, and I don't want to pay a lot to eat somewhere else that might be better when we are out running errands.
On top of everything else, I have a terrible sweet tooth. When sweets are in the house, it is hard for me to resist. My personal favorite is sugary cereal as a late night snack. And I don't think getting everything all natural and organic will keep the pounds off my hips...but that is another post. At the same time, I also don't want to keep my kids from enjoying dessert. The newest addition to our kitchen is coming in the mail...an ice cream maker. At least I will know what is going into my ice cream and frozen yogurt....
Eating real food in the kitchen is quite a challenge, but changing one thing at a time will hopefully get me there down the road. Until then, when I try a new recipe that is a healthier choice or I have adapted an old favorite, I will share with you the good...and the not so good as I get more adventurous. I may even share a few I like that may not be the healthiest but the ingredient list will be one you can probably feel good about eating...after all, it will be homemade!
Today at my house, we are having pizza for lunch. Who doesn't like pizza? This it the recipe I use to make dough. I use my bread machine, and after an hour and a half, I roll it and stretch it out onto my 16 inch pizza pan with holes in it. I shred mozzarella cheese so there are no added ingredients to prevent caking, and I use pizza sauce that comes in a jar or spaghetti sauce if there is no pizza sauce cupboard. I recently started buying the organic Wild Oats products from Wal-Mart (it is a step in the right direction, even if some people are against the brand!), so I may start using their spaghetti sauce just to make it a bit healthier. I have already tried it a few times for pasta dishes. Sometimes I add flavoring to the dough like garlic powder or Italian seasoning, but I don't think it adds much to this dough (other recipes I have tried, I HAD to add because the dough had no taste).
Whole Wheat Pizza Dough (original recipe found here)
- 2 1/2 cups whole wheat flour (I use Prairie Gold White Wheat), plus more for dusting
- 2 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast (I use Fleischmann's BreadMachine)
- 3/4 teaspoon salt
- 1 cup warm water
- 1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
- 1 tablespoon sugar
Directions (I have listed how I make it...if you want to make it without a bread maker, check out link above)
- Add to bread maker in this order: water, olive oil, flour, salt, sugar around edges, and yeast into a well in the middle created by your finger. Then close the lid and press the dough setting and walk away until the machine beeps...about 1 1/2 hours.
- Preheat oven to 500 degrees. I make sure I do this at least 20 minutes before I want to get the pizza in the oven because it takes about that long for it to get that hot with my propane stove.
- Take dough out of machine, shape into a ball and place on a lightly floured surface. Roll out into a circle of desired crust thickness and let rest about 10 minutes (at this time you can put on your desired toppings-we usually do just cheese, but sometimes we do ham and pineapple or turkey peperoni).
- Place pizza in oven and bake about 10-15 minutes, or until crust is golden brown and toppings are baked. Let pizza rest for about 10 minutes before slicing.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Do we really need grades in elementary school?
One of my most lasting memories of first grade before I moved was getting an F on an assignment. I think I hated that teacher from that moment on. Maybe it was a pivotal moment in my childhood. I always remember being a good student. Possibly because I never wanted to see that grade again. From time to time I did, but not very often. From the sound of it, getting grades had the affect it was supposed to...it motivated me to do better. But it also made me hate a teacher. And it had another side affect. If I thought I could not do well on something challenging, I took the easy way out. I did not take risks with projects. I got very stressed when I was struggling. It did not make me a better student in those moments, it just caused anxiety. I wonder what would have happened had I been encouraged and helped along in my education without grades. Sure, I had a self-motivation to do well and have the teacher happy with me. I was the type that was afraid of being in trouble. And a bad grade was like being in trouble. I did not take on anything challenging. I just did what was supposed to be done. I was never taught to work hard to achieve something. What I did was always good enough for good grades. I was never taught that it was ok to fail.
Could that one single event in my childhood along with a fear of doing something wrong have shaped where I am today? Possibly. I wonder what would have happened if my learning environment had been focused on learning and exploring, where mistakes were normal and an opportunity to learn. Where perfection was not rewarded with the highest honors and failure was not seen as ruining my future. I can't say that at some point grades would not be important. After all, it is probably unreasonable for a school to write a progress report on each student for each subject and expect a university to read it. But early on, when kids are learning the foundations, does it serve a purpose or hurt the child? Are grades really appropriate for elementary kids?
Could it be possible to take a different approach in the schools where kids learn at their own pace through fifth or sixth grade? Are we able to create a nurturing and supportive atmosphere that does not shame kids who are behind but instead supports them? What about an environment that allows them to be curious without fear of being embarrassed for feeling less than everyone else. An environment that allows advanced students to keep advancing...but not just to the next workbook. What if they were able to create their own projects in class. They would be able to include other students where any child interested in the topic can contribute a little or a lot. There are no grades, so all contributions can be seen as adding to something small without other group members developing resentment for workload being uneven. Parents would not have to give a big helping hand to ensure a good grade because projects would be done in school. And at the end of the school year (or for parent/teacher conferences), parents can see all things their kids were a part of.
Is it possible to set up an environment of cooperation instead of competition? When kids interact with older and younger kids rather than all just the same age, cooperation comes naturally. When only same age kids are all together, it creates competition. If groups are mixed ages like they are at the Sudbury Valley School, it might make for a rich and diverse learning environment. Maybe we can focus on building good citizenship and good character instead of teaching skills that can be learned at any age so we can "beat the competition" and appear smarter than other countries. When kids are ready to advance to the higher grades, we can base the decision to promote based on the opinion of the teachers he or she has worked with for the last five years. While I would hate for teachers to be encouraged to "teach to the test," we might also consider an un-timed skills test in math, reading, and writing skills to make sure they are prepared to keep up in the upper grades.
If we accepted the premise that kids learn the skills they need but at different rates and tend to be caught up around 5th or 6th grade, and that they need to reach a level of maturity before diving deeply into the subjects schools want kids to learn, maybe we would have more positive attitudes about school. Maybe kids would not be dropping out in kindergarten. Maybe we would have developed our natural curiosities. Maybe we would have kids that are willing to take on challenges and take risks in their learning.
In a country where families are spreading out, broken up, or too busy working 2 jobs to make ends meet, the little bit of time they do have together needs to be valued. Rather than daily fights about homework and kids getting punished for not performing, families might just make more time to enjoy each other and build relationships. Kids might actually want to share what they did at school that day. Those strong relationships will be crucial going into the teen years when kids are trying to discover who they want to be as an adult and who they can trust to be there for them when everything else feels like it is falling apart.
As kids get older, maybe there is a completely different way to approach grading. Some schools systems have already implemented standards based grading with success. If we are unable to let go of the idea of giving grades all together, this might be a good way to go. However, there is research out there that shows grades can have quite a negative effect. You can read more about Alfie Kohn and the books he has written on this and related topics.
As a homeschooling mom, I have never given my son grades. I know where he is at by simple observation. He does not need a grade to prove anything, so I don't assign them. While I currently take a different approach through unschooling where grading would be unheard of, I know many are unable to do this or must put their children in school. Schools do not have to stay the way they are. We can pull together as a community and insist on what we want for our kids. Most schools do not currently operate in a way that is best for our children. Tons of research has been done to show how people learn in a natural way. Tons of anecdotal evidence (also here and here) shows kids learn what they need to when looked at over the course of twelve years. And when they can do it on their own timetable, they maintain a love of learning and they learn in a more meaningful way. They also tend to know themselves better, so when they go into the "real world" they are not discovering themselves for the first time and floundering.
I have come to the belief that from kindergarten to fifth or sixth grade, kids should be allowed to learn at their own pace. And they should be able to learn about the things that fascinate them. It often leads to following bunny trails about things they had no idea was connected to the original interest. By 11 or 12 years, abilities for math, reading, and writing has typically reached the desired levels. I believe that most kids will have mastered those foundational skills at their own pace and be as far along (or further) as if they followed a regimented schedule. And they would not have developed a dislike or hatred for any of the subjects because it was not forced on them. In addition, when they work on their own interests rather than everyone doing the same thing, there is less room to compare to others and more room to focus on personal growth. With freedom to be curious and explore without a lot of stifling, mundane assignments that determine our worth based on the grade received, we may just be surprised at what even the most unlikely of students will learn.
What were your experiences with grades growing up? If you have kids now, do grades seem to have a positive or negative affect...or is it too soon to tell?
Could that one single event in my childhood along with a fear of doing something wrong have shaped where I am today? Possibly. I wonder what would have happened if my learning environment had been focused on learning and exploring, where mistakes were normal and an opportunity to learn. Where perfection was not rewarded with the highest honors and failure was not seen as ruining my future. I can't say that at some point grades would not be important. After all, it is probably unreasonable for a school to write a progress report on each student for each subject and expect a university to read it. But early on, when kids are learning the foundations, does it serve a purpose or hurt the child? Are grades really appropriate for elementary kids?
Could it be possible to take a different approach in the schools where kids learn at their own pace through fifth or sixth grade? Are we able to create a nurturing and supportive atmosphere that does not shame kids who are behind but instead supports them? What about an environment that allows them to be curious without fear of being embarrassed for feeling less than everyone else. An environment that allows advanced students to keep advancing...but not just to the next workbook. What if they were able to create their own projects in class. They would be able to include other students where any child interested in the topic can contribute a little or a lot. There are no grades, so all contributions can be seen as adding to something small without other group members developing resentment for workload being uneven. Parents would not have to give a big helping hand to ensure a good grade because projects would be done in school. And at the end of the school year (or for parent/teacher conferences), parents can see all things their kids were a part of.
Is it possible to set up an environment of cooperation instead of competition? When kids interact with older and younger kids rather than all just the same age, cooperation comes naturally. When only same age kids are all together, it creates competition. If groups are mixed ages like they are at the Sudbury Valley School, it might make for a rich and diverse learning environment. Maybe we can focus on building good citizenship and good character instead of teaching skills that can be learned at any age so we can "beat the competition" and appear smarter than other countries. When kids are ready to advance to the higher grades, we can base the decision to promote based on the opinion of the teachers he or she has worked with for the last five years. While I would hate for teachers to be encouraged to "teach to the test," we might also consider an un-timed skills test in math, reading, and writing skills to make sure they are prepared to keep up in the upper grades.
If we accepted the premise that kids learn the skills they need but at different rates and tend to be caught up around 5th or 6th grade, and that they need to reach a level of maturity before diving deeply into the subjects schools want kids to learn, maybe we would have more positive attitudes about school. Maybe kids would not be dropping out in kindergarten. Maybe we would have developed our natural curiosities. Maybe we would have kids that are willing to take on challenges and take risks in their learning.
In a country where families are spreading out, broken up, or too busy working 2 jobs to make ends meet, the little bit of time they do have together needs to be valued. Rather than daily fights about homework and kids getting punished for not performing, families might just make more time to enjoy each other and build relationships. Kids might actually want to share what they did at school that day. Those strong relationships will be crucial going into the teen years when kids are trying to discover who they want to be as an adult and who they can trust to be there for them when everything else feels like it is falling apart.
As a homeschooling mom, I have never given my son grades. I know where he is at by simple observation. He does not need a grade to prove anything, so I don't assign them. While I currently take a different approach through unschooling where grading would be unheard of, I know many are unable to do this or must put their children in school. Schools do not have to stay the way they are. We can pull together as a community and insist on what we want for our kids. Most schools do not currently operate in a way that is best for our children. Tons of research has been done to show how people learn in a natural way. Tons of anecdotal evidence (also here and here) shows kids learn what they need to when looked at over the course of twelve years. And when they can do it on their own timetable, they maintain a love of learning and they learn in a more meaningful way. They also tend to know themselves better, so when they go into the "real world" they are not discovering themselves for the first time and floundering.
I have come to the belief that from kindergarten to fifth or sixth grade, kids should be allowed to learn at their own pace. And they should be able to learn about the things that fascinate them. It often leads to following bunny trails about things they had no idea was connected to the original interest. By 11 or 12 years, abilities for math, reading, and writing has typically reached the desired levels. I believe that most kids will have mastered those foundational skills at their own pace and be as far along (or further) as if they followed a regimented schedule. And they would not have developed a dislike or hatred for any of the subjects because it was not forced on them. In addition, when they work on their own interests rather than everyone doing the same thing, there is less room to compare to others and more room to focus on personal growth. With freedom to be curious and explore without a lot of stifling, mundane assignments that determine our worth based on the grade received, we may just be surprised at what even the most unlikely of students will learn.
What were your experiences with grades growing up? If you have kids now, do grades seem to have a positive or negative affect...or is it too soon to tell?
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Homeschooling educates me too
I have always been one that loves to learn new things. I don't always jump in feet first, but just about everything out there is fascinating enough for me to want to learn at least a little about it. I like to learn the rules of the sports game I am watching. I like to hear about the new cool features on cars and new kitchen gadgets. I like to hear about new discoveries in Egypt. Every once in awhile, I even like to follow world politics, especially when a place keeps popping up in the news and I want to try and make sense of the craziness.
Because I see myself as a lifelong learner, I also realize the value in learning things just because. It has helped in my homeschooling journey. What is even greater, though, is what I learn through my kids' learning experiences. Lately, we have had the video series "liberty Kids" in the van for the kids to watch when we go anywhere. This is the second time they have watched in the last year. My son's favorite part is the theme song, which he hears about every 20 minutes...thank goodness I am ok with it too! I know a lot of it does not stick, but my son knows who Benjamin Franklin was and says George Washington is his favorite president. In fact, learning about George Washington and hearing a little bit about Abraham Lincoln in the Magic Tree House books has sparked an interest in our presidents. He has also had a taste of what slavery was, and is starting to understand why we went to war. Although he has not studied the Civil War, he likes learning about the Revolutionary War more. It has also been a great spring board for discussions about so many things...like political parties and when the White House was built. Not bad for a boy who would be going into third grade.
My son's interests have refreshed my memory of what I learned in school. I may even be learning more than the history books taught me. The other night, there was a special on about Benjamin Franklin. I probably would have never watched it had I not been listening to "Liberty Kids." My initial desire was to see if it would be a good fit for my son to watch....because of Franklin's interest in the ladies, I think I will wait awhile before my 8 year old watches it. It took my understanding of Benjamin Franklin to a whole new level. It may even lead to me reading his biography, something I would have never chosen to do in high school.
There are so many topics my son has questions about that the internet has become my favorite tool. Whether it be looking up how far it is from one state to another or information about the Egyptian pyramids, I am often exploring websites that might be of interest. During that process, I learn all kinds of interesting facts that I am able to share with my son. As a homeschooling mom, I see the value of me learning these types of things for my kids' sake. It means I can share more information on a topic when they are exposed to it. They may not always be interested in what I share with them, but they have a chance to expand their knowledge if they choose to. And if they don't, that's okay too. If I forced them to learn it, it probably wouldn't stick very long anyway.
Along with all the things I have learned because of my son, the area I have become most educated in is learning itself. I have always believed in education, but teaching just never seemed to fit...mostly because I am not interested in classroom management but a love of learning and helping kids achieve their goals. Through researching homeschooling and seeking support and ideas, I have completely changed my thoughts about how we should be doing things. I am not a policy maker, but I do believe all we have to do is look at what kids do when no one is looking...when no one is measuring. That is the natural guide to how kids learn best. The more we incorporate that into the classroom the more we will see all kids shine. The more we incorporate that into our homeschools, the more our children will excel...as long as you are willing to change your definition of what it means to excel in school. And I don't mean lowering standards.
Excelling in school should be about becoming passionate about learning and trying new things. Along with that, will come a desire to know the skills needed. That will be the true measure of success in adulthood, whether it be in our jobs or personal lives. A desire to learn and try new things will be what helps us keep an open mind to the possibilities as adults. And with that desire we will have already learned how to take on the challenge of learning new skills in order to do the thing we have our hearts set on. We won't need someone telling us we need to learn a skill before we do something. We will see it for ourselves. It will mean something to learn the skill or knowledge. We will not be fearful of failure because we were allowed to explore without measured expectations or grades.
So, what have you learned from your kids lately?
Because I see myself as a lifelong learner, I also realize the value in learning things just because. It has helped in my homeschooling journey. What is even greater, though, is what I learn through my kids' learning experiences. Lately, we have had the video series "liberty Kids" in the van for the kids to watch when we go anywhere. This is the second time they have watched in the last year. My son's favorite part is the theme song, which he hears about every 20 minutes...thank goodness I am ok with it too! I know a lot of it does not stick, but my son knows who Benjamin Franklin was and says George Washington is his favorite president. In fact, learning about George Washington and hearing a little bit about Abraham Lincoln in the Magic Tree House books has sparked an interest in our presidents. He has also had a taste of what slavery was, and is starting to understand why we went to war. Although he has not studied the Civil War, he likes learning about the Revolutionary War more. It has also been a great spring board for discussions about so many things...like political parties and when the White House was built. Not bad for a boy who would be going into third grade.
My son's interests have refreshed my memory of what I learned in school. I may even be learning more than the history books taught me. The other night, there was a special on about Benjamin Franklin. I probably would have never watched it had I not been listening to "Liberty Kids." My initial desire was to see if it would be a good fit for my son to watch....because of Franklin's interest in the ladies, I think I will wait awhile before my 8 year old watches it. It took my understanding of Benjamin Franklin to a whole new level. It may even lead to me reading his biography, something I would have never chosen to do in high school.
There are so many topics my son has questions about that the internet has become my favorite tool. Whether it be looking up how far it is from one state to another or information about the Egyptian pyramids, I am often exploring websites that might be of interest. During that process, I learn all kinds of interesting facts that I am able to share with my son. As a homeschooling mom, I see the value of me learning these types of things for my kids' sake. It means I can share more information on a topic when they are exposed to it. They may not always be interested in what I share with them, but they have a chance to expand their knowledge if they choose to. And if they don't, that's okay too. If I forced them to learn it, it probably wouldn't stick very long anyway.
Along with all the things I have learned because of my son, the area I have become most educated in is learning itself. I have always believed in education, but teaching just never seemed to fit...mostly because I am not interested in classroom management but a love of learning and helping kids achieve their goals. Through researching homeschooling and seeking support and ideas, I have completely changed my thoughts about how we should be doing things. I am not a policy maker, but I do believe all we have to do is look at what kids do when no one is looking...when no one is measuring. That is the natural guide to how kids learn best. The more we incorporate that into the classroom the more we will see all kids shine. The more we incorporate that into our homeschools, the more our children will excel...as long as you are willing to change your definition of what it means to excel in school. And I don't mean lowering standards.
Excelling in school should be about becoming passionate about learning and trying new things. Along with that, will come a desire to know the skills needed. That will be the true measure of success in adulthood, whether it be in our jobs or personal lives. A desire to learn and try new things will be what helps us keep an open mind to the possibilities as adults. And with that desire we will have already learned how to take on the challenge of learning new skills in order to do the thing we have our hearts set on. We won't need someone telling us we need to learn a skill before we do something. We will see it for ourselves. It will mean something to learn the skill or knowledge. We will not be fearful of failure because we were allowed to explore without measured expectations or grades.
So, what have you learned from your kids lately?
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Is free play all it is cracked up to be?
As a mom, I love free play. It takes the responsibility of my kids being entertained off of me and places it on them. That, of course, allows me more time to do all the fun things I need to do like clean the bathrooms, cook dinner, wash laundry.... It also also much more affordable than summer camps and sports programs and dance lessons. And there is a lot less driving around...which is about to become a much bigger deal now that I have moved to Rural, America. And we all know that imaginative play mostly goes away as we get older, so not having to come up with characters and stories with my children all day long is just another benefit.
In the world of raising kids and education, free play is a hot topic. It is apparently something that has been lost to helicopter parenting and a desire to get a head-start on our futures. How important is it, really? Are our children really better off playing in the backyard by themselves or with the neighborhood kids, or should they be involved in a multitude of activities? Or is there an ideal balance? Since I homeschool my kids, the extra activities are probably a benefit. But how many extra activities? When do our kids reach the overload point? I suppose it is different for different kids. Some thrive with a lot of structure. Others rebel against structure like it is a force to be reckoned with. The extras definitely expose our kids to new experiences, but at what point do they need to discover their own experiences, good or bad? What do they need in order to discover the best -and worst- of themselves?
There are some day camps that apparently have adult supervision called "loitering with intent." The question is whether or not that in itself interferes with kids and their exploration of their worlds and developing friendships or discovering enemies and how to deal with them. They certainly would not be allowed to participate in any type of risky behavior like walking on top of the monkey bars. Somebody might get sued for an injury. And the cost of emergency care and lousy health insurance would break the bank, so I am not sure I could allow it under my supervision, either. It would have to happen when I wasn't looking! Which is exactly the point for some people and free play. Kids need to be able to play in a way that allows for risk. That allows them to push themselves and find their true limits...sometimes with the "help" or their friends. You know the ones that call you a a wimp or a baby or a chicken for not doing something. That, in turn, pushes you to do something that is not necessarily a smart choice, but you survive anyway. When we are able to take calculated risks as a kid on a smaller scale, we learn how to take them as adults.
The question remains, "how much are we hurting our kids by NOT letting them do things on their own, unsupervised?" The general public and law enforcement seem to think kids are not able to do things on their own. Kids can't be left by themselves in a car until they are old enough to drive. They can't go to the park by themselves across the street while mom is working. They can't be left alone for a few minutes when they are a reasonable age to go get milk at the corner market. They can't go out in the morning and be back at dusk. They get together with friends through arranged playdates, where the parents are watching their every move, interfering when the kids start fighting over a toy, etc. Everything must be controlled or supervised, or we are hurting our children...at least that is what we are led to believe.
There has been a lot of research that shows what kids are losing out on when they are not given free, unsupervised play. This one applies to preschoolers, but the principles carry over to older children. Free play allows children to develop social skills, problem solve, create, and think for themselves. It makes a different part of their brain work. It also enables them to be better students in the classroom. It helps students concentrate better and makes them more willing to sit and listen, at least for a little while. Kids diagnosed with ADHD often show great improvement when allowed that necessary free time. It also helps them learn how to overcome boredom on their own.
In a world where our kids are staying at home longer, and where they are labeled as "entitled" or "lazy," we have to stop and think about what parents are doing wrong. It seems like giving kids a lot more free time to discover who they are would be a great and easy place to start. It seems like giving them a chance to figure out how to overcome boredom on their own may push kids to figure out what really inspires them, so they will seek things out instead of having everything handed to them. It seems if kids are allowed to develop their creativity and thinking skills in life, they may be more prepared to solve the problems we are surely going to face in the future....even some of the ones we currently face.
Growing up, what did you gain through free play? Do you think kids are better off with a lot of structure or a lot less structure?
In the world of raising kids and education, free play is a hot topic. It is apparently something that has been lost to helicopter parenting and a desire to get a head-start on our futures. How important is it, really? Are our children really better off playing in the backyard by themselves or with the neighborhood kids, or should they be involved in a multitude of activities? Or is there an ideal balance? Since I homeschool my kids, the extra activities are probably a benefit. But how many extra activities? When do our kids reach the overload point? I suppose it is different for different kids. Some thrive with a lot of structure. Others rebel against structure like it is a force to be reckoned with. The extras definitely expose our kids to new experiences, but at what point do they need to discover their own experiences, good or bad? What do they need in order to discover the best -and worst- of themselves?
There are some day camps that apparently have adult supervision called "loitering with intent." The question is whether or not that in itself interferes with kids and their exploration of their worlds and developing friendships or discovering enemies and how to deal with them. They certainly would not be allowed to participate in any type of risky behavior like walking on top of the monkey bars. Somebody might get sued for an injury. And the cost of emergency care and lousy health insurance would break the bank, so I am not sure I could allow it under my supervision, either. It would have to happen when I wasn't looking! Which is exactly the point for some people and free play. Kids need to be able to play in a way that allows for risk. That allows them to push themselves and find their true limits...sometimes with the "help" or their friends. You know the ones that call you a a wimp or a baby or a chicken for not doing something. That, in turn, pushes you to do something that is not necessarily a smart choice, but you survive anyway. When we are able to take calculated risks as a kid on a smaller scale, we learn how to take them as adults.
The question remains, "how much are we hurting our kids by NOT letting them do things on their own, unsupervised?" The general public and law enforcement seem to think kids are not able to do things on their own. Kids can't be left by themselves in a car until they are old enough to drive. They can't go to the park by themselves across the street while mom is working. They can't be left alone for a few minutes when they are a reasonable age to go get milk at the corner market. They can't go out in the morning and be back at dusk. They get together with friends through arranged playdates, where the parents are watching their every move, interfering when the kids start fighting over a toy, etc. Everything must be controlled or supervised, or we are hurting our children...at least that is what we are led to believe.
There has been a lot of research that shows what kids are losing out on when they are not given free, unsupervised play. This one applies to preschoolers, but the principles carry over to older children. Free play allows children to develop social skills, problem solve, create, and think for themselves. It makes a different part of their brain work. It also enables them to be better students in the classroom. It helps students concentrate better and makes them more willing to sit and listen, at least for a little while. Kids diagnosed with ADHD often show great improvement when allowed that necessary free time. It also helps them learn how to overcome boredom on their own.
In a world where our kids are staying at home longer, and where they are labeled as "entitled" or "lazy," we have to stop and think about what parents are doing wrong. It seems like giving kids a lot more free time to discover who they are would be a great and easy place to start. It seems like giving them a chance to figure out how to overcome boredom on their own may push kids to figure out what really inspires them, so they will seek things out instead of having everything handed to them. It seems if kids are allowed to develop their creativity and thinking skills in life, they may be more prepared to solve the problems we are surely going to face in the future....even some of the ones we currently face.
Growing up, what did you gain through free play? Do you think kids are better off with a lot of structure or a lot less structure?
Thursday, June 19, 2014
I'm a wannabe pinterest mom
Have you ever been to Pinterest? I love looking at all the cool pins. I see delicious looking recipes, great exercise ideas, beautiful decorating ideas, creative homeschooling ideas, simple craft ideas, and Cub Scout ideas. I can get lost in looking at all the things other people have done and then want to do them all. I try to be selective of the things I choose to pin to my wall. I really want to try them out. And sometimes I do. More often, I don't.
It is kind of like looking through magazines and earmarking all the pages that catch your eye. And then never opening the magazine again.
I just get too busy with day-today life that I can't even begin to do all the things I want to.
I guess I need to schedule my time better. I need to plan better. I need to be proactive. And then maybe I could be the next Martha Stewart.
The truth is my kids are not yet adventurous eaters, so the recipes around here are fairly routine. They are just as happy crafting with plain paper and paint, markers, or crayons as doing a planned project, and it is easier to get out and clean up. They are not necessarily more enriched from doing all the activities. They do it for a few minutes and move on. I am not currently in a place to put all the decorating ideas into place. Even if I were, I would have to get creative in order to afford some of the looks I have been drawn to. And most of the Cub Scout ideas don't work too well for a small den. When I try to exercise, I always get interrupted, so I end up having to incorporate it into activities with the kids. Now that I have begun unschooling, a lot of the homeschool ideas seem irrelevant at this point.
That is the downfall to a site like Pinterest. As great as it is at organizing wonderful ideas, you still have to make the time and put in the effort to make them happen. And it is easy to become envious because we see all these great ideas, and we are not doing them. Forget the fact there are a million people on the site and all the ideas were done by different people...not all the same person. And even if several ideas came from the same site, they were likely done over a long period of time. It is easy to allow ourselves to believe we are not doing enough and we should be doing more...just see what everyone else is doing!!! Just another form of keeping up with the Joneses. Another way of telling ourselves we are inadequate in the kitchen or as a parent or as a homemaker.
The truth is all we really need to do in our homes is provide the basics of nutritious food, clothes, shelter, love, and strong relationships. We are social beings, and relationships are what make or break people. If we are fostering those, all the rest is just fluff. Sometimes fluff is nice. Sometimes it just gets in the way. So are all the great ideas you have found out there complimenting your life or complicating your life? If they are causing stress or causing you to think you are failing at an imaginary standard, it may be time to cut them out of the picture and focusing on the little things that matter, like early morning snuggles and late-night movie night with the kids and spouse. Now those are things I can do!
It is kind of like looking through magazines and earmarking all the pages that catch your eye. And then never opening the magazine again.
I just get too busy with day-today life that I can't even begin to do all the things I want to.
I guess I need to schedule my time better. I need to plan better. I need to be proactive. And then maybe I could be the next Martha Stewart.
The truth is my kids are not yet adventurous eaters, so the recipes around here are fairly routine. They are just as happy crafting with plain paper and paint, markers, or crayons as doing a planned project, and it is easier to get out and clean up. They are not necessarily more enriched from doing all the activities. They do it for a few minutes and move on. I am not currently in a place to put all the decorating ideas into place. Even if I were, I would have to get creative in order to afford some of the looks I have been drawn to. And most of the Cub Scout ideas don't work too well for a small den. When I try to exercise, I always get interrupted, so I end up having to incorporate it into activities with the kids. Now that I have begun unschooling, a lot of the homeschool ideas seem irrelevant at this point.
That is the downfall to a site like Pinterest. As great as it is at organizing wonderful ideas, you still have to make the time and put in the effort to make them happen. And it is easy to become envious because we see all these great ideas, and we are not doing them. Forget the fact there are a million people on the site and all the ideas were done by different people...not all the same person. And even if several ideas came from the same site, they were likely done over a long period of time. It is easy to allow ourselves to believe we are not doing enough and we should be doing more...just see what everyone else is doing!!! Just another form of keeping up with the Joneses. Another way of telling ourselves we are inadequate in the kitchen or as a parent or as a homemaker.
The truth is all we really need to do in our homes is provide the basics of nutritious food, clothes, shelter, love, and strong relationships. We are social beings, and relationships are what make or break people. If we are fostering those, all the rest is just fluff. Sometimes fluff is nice. Sometimes it just gets in the way. So are all the great ideas you have found out there complimenting your life or complicating your life? If they are causing stress or causing you to think you are failing at an imaginary standard, it may be time to cut them out of the picture and focusing on the little things that matter, like early morning snuggles and late-night movie night with the kids and spouse. Now those are things I can do!
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Two peas in a pod...sort of
I got a visit from my dad yesterday. We sat down in my living room and chatted for all of fifteen minutes. Then I heard a noise from the bathroom. Uh oh, what was she getting into now? I rushed to the bathroom only to see my daughter try to figure out how to get the nail polish off her nails. She had managed to get a hold of my red nail polish and paint all her nails...and toes. She also got it a few other places. I have to give her credit for trying several things to solve her problem. Towels, toys, hand sanitizer. All while being very quiet. This has to be why parents love the open floor plan so much. You notice these little disasters before they get out of hand. Luckily, I got most of the polish off of everything. But this story has left its permanent mark and will be remembered for years to come....
This is my daughter most days. She is independent and wants to do everything self, whether she should be doing it or not. I thought my days of safety locks were over. My son never did things like this, so I never had to worry. He was consistent in what he got into, and it was always the things that I was ok with him getting into. If she wants something, and I don't get it for her, or I am taking too long, she finds a way to do it herself, even if it means climbing furniture. I'm going to have to anchor everything to the wall. My son did not climb things, so I never had to worry. I have to keep a life vest on my daughter around the water because she will just jump in. My son had no problem being in a tube and staying close to me at her age. She is much more interested in things like arts and crafts, and my son barely pick up a crayon and colored until he was 5. She jumps in and helps me clean stuff while it is like pulling teeth to get my son to do the same thing.
Just when I think they could not be more different, they act exactly the same. She wants what he wants. She wants to play everything he wants to play and loves Mario as much as he does. They watch the same shows on tv, and she likes Spider-man and Batman and the bad guys like Joker. They want to play the same games on the computer. She loves puzzles just like he did. She loves dinosaurs and cars just like he did. And while she likes her dolls and kitchen too, she fits right in with her brother.
They pester each other and get mad at each other for the same reasons. Then they turn around and love on each other like crazy. They sing together, chase each other, and play in the sandbox together. While she is a picky eater, she is not a polar opposite of her brother, so it is not hard to get her to eat many of the same things. They are both social and love to play with other kids and are not shy about meeting new kids anywhere. They both can get spitting mad at the drop of a hat. Oh, and they both love telling mommy NO!....but that is a different blog.
It is crazy how kids can be so different yet so much alike. I have a twin sister who was my best friend growing up, even though we referred to each other distinctly as sisters. We always played together. We also fought A LOT. Those fights often got to the point where we pulled each others hair and screamed one second and were laughing hysterically the next second. We had different favorite colors and styles. We had different favorite toys. Even though we had a lot in common, we were also very different.
When it comes to raising kids, we have to remember their individuality. We cannot in fairness compare siblings (although it does help us realize how different they are, no matter how you try to raise or influence them). Each is a separate and special creation. Each one has a different gift to the world. As parents, we need to help our kids create strong bonds with each other while fostering their individual needs and personalities. That is the biggest reason I like the unschooling concept. I can individualize each child's experience in a way that helps them grow the most. It forces me to see my children as unique. And while I could take the same approach to learning for both, it could hinder them becoming who they are destined to become. I spend a lot of time observing and paying attention to my kids so I can meet their needs. Am I perfect at it? Not by a long shot. But the more awareness I have in my actions and choices in how I raise and educate them, the more effective I will be over the long-term.
Unschooling also pushes me to grow as an individual. It pushes me to think about what they really need to know as an adult verses what others think would be good to know going into adulthood. It pushes me to evaluate the value of education the "traditional" way verses unconventional methods. It makes me question how the education system operates and the motives behind the beast. I am fortunate to have the chance to educate my children and have a supportive husband who trusts me to do what is best for our kids. Some families cannot for various reasons. Many do not want to, which I also understand. But that does not mean some of the philosophies of unschooling can't still apply.
Allowing kids to explore their interests in-depth is a good way to start. If they are in school all day, they have already had someone telling them over and over what they need to learn. As parents, we can best help our kids discover themselves by valuing their interests no matter how much of a waste of time we think they are. When given some freedom and access to resources and a supportive attitude, our kids can maintain their curiosity and desire to learn. Kids can learn some pretty unexpected things from unexpected sources when given the chance. We can also stop and listen to them more without judgement. When we make listening to their crazy stories and ideas important, it shows they are valued. When we interact with them and help them when they need something, it shows their ideas are important, and they will come up with more. It might seem like child's play to us, but even the great inventors were children at one point. How do you think their parents guided them? How do you think they became great? I doubt they were told their ideas were stupid or a waste of time. I bet they also had a lot of freedom.
Another great thing to do for your kids is simplify life. As fun as it may be to be involved in little league, dance, gymnastics, choir, music lessons, Cub Scouts, Awana, etc., kids need downtime. They already lose some of their free time with homework, chores, running errands, dinner, bedtime routines, etc. They need time to deschool each day. They need time to chill so their brains can relax and switch gears to thinking about what they are interested in or fascinated by. Sometimes it takes watching silly shows on tv, reading a magazine, or playing a video game. However, when kids are given what they need without feeling their time is being controlled, they are more likely to spend less time doing the stuff we may see as a waste of time and more time exploring what interests them. And it is ok for kids to be doing nothing at all. It is ok for them to be bored. They likely won't stay that way for long, unless they are accustomed to being spoon-fed every idea and activity. If they are, it may be time to sit down and join them in an activity, whether it be playing a board game, throwing a ball, or painting pictures (without checking Pinterest for ideas).
I love my children and their differences. I am reminded every day, that while they are plenty alike, they are also to very distinct individuals. I have choices as a parent. I can force them to do the same things and make life "easier," or I can put in the extra effort and see them for who they are, not who I want them to be. With it being summer time, this is the perfect time to do just that. Give them freedom, keep things simple, and support their crazy ideas...as long as it doesn't include jumping off the house and flying like Superman....
This is my daughter most days. She is independent and wants to do everything self, whether she should be doing it or not. I thought my days of safety locks were over. My son never did things like this, so I never had to worry. He was consistent in what he got into, and it was always the things that I was ok with him getting into. If she wants something, and I don't get it for her, or I am taking too long, she finds a way to do it herself, even if it means climbing furniture. I'm going to have to anchor everything to the wall. My son did not climb things, so I never had to worry. I have to keep a life vest on my daughter around the water because she will just jump in. My son had no problem being in a tube and staying close to me at her age. She is much more interested in things like arts and crafts, and my son barely pick up a crayon and colored until he was 5. She jumps in and helps me clean stuff while it is like pulling teeth to get my son to do the same thing.
Just when I think they could not be more different, they act exactly the same. She wants what he wants. She wants to play everything he wants to play and loves Mario as much as he does. They watch the same shows on tv, and she likes Spider-man and Batman and the bad guys like Joker. They want to play the same games on the computer. She loves puzzles just like he did. She loves dinosaurs and cars just like he did. And while she likes her dolls and kitchen too, she fits right in with her brother.
They pester each other and get mad at each other for the same reasons. Then they turn around and love on each other like crazy. They sing together, chase each other, and play in the sandbox together. While she is a picky eater, she is not a polar opposite of her brother, so it is not hard to get her to eat many of the same things. They are both social and love to play with other kids and are not shy about meeting new kids anywhere. They both can get spitting mad at the drop of a hat. Oh, and they both love telling mommy NO!....but that is a different blog.
It is crazy how kids can be so different yet so much alike. I have a twin sister who was my best friend growing up, even though we referred to each other distinctly as sisters. We always played together. We also fought A LOT. Those fights often got to the point where we pulled each others hair and screamed one second and were laughing hysterically the next second. We had different favorite colors and styles. We had different favorite toys. Even though we had a lot in common, we were also very different.
When it comes to raising kids, we have to remember their individuality. We cannot in fairness compare siblings (although it does help us realize how different they are, no matter how you try to raise or influence them). Each is a separate and special creation. Each one has a different gift to the world. As parents, we need to help our kids create strong bonds with each other while fostering their individual needs and personalities. That is the biggest reason I like the unschooling concept. I can individualize each child's experience in a way that helps them grow the most. It forces me to see my children as unique. And while I could take the same approach to learning for both, it could hinder them becoming who they are destined to become. I spend a lot of time observing and paying attention to my kids so I can meet their needs. Am I perfect at it? Not by a long shot. But the more awareness I have in my actions and choices in how I raise and educate them, the more effective I will be over the long-term.
Unschooling also pushes me to grow as an individual. It pushes me to think about what they really need to know as an adult verses what others think would be good to know going into adulthood. It pushes me to evaluate the value of education the "traditional" way verses unconventional methods. It makes me question how the education system operates and the motives behind the beast. I am fortunate to have the chance to educate my children and have a supportive husband who trusts me to do what is best for our kids. Some families cannot for various reasons. Many do not want to, which I also understand. But that does not mean some of the philosophies of unschooling can't still apply.
Allowing kids to explore their interests in-depth is a good way to start. If they are in school all day, they have already had someone telling them over and over what they need to learn. As parents, we can best help our kids discover themselves by valuing their interests no matter how much of a waste of time we think they are. When given some freedom and access to resources and a supportive attitude, our kids can maintain their curiosity and desire to learn. Kids can learn some pretty unexpected things from unexpected sources when given the chance. We can also stop and listen to them more without judgement. When we make listening to their crazy stories and ideas important, it shows they are valued. When we interact with them and help them when they need something, it shows their ideas are important, and they will come up with more. It might seem like child's play to us, but even the great inventors were children at one point. How do you think their parents guided them? How do you think they became great? I doubt they were told their ideas were stupid or a waste of time. I bet they also had a lot of freedom.
Another great thing to do for your kids is simplify life. As fun as it may be to be involved in little league, dance, gymnastics, choir, music lessons, Cub Scouts, Awana, etc., kids need downtime. They already lose some of their free time with homework, chores, running errands, dinner, bedtime routines, etc. They need time to deschool each day. They need time to chill so their brains can relax and switch gears to thinking about what they are interested in or fascinated by. Sometimes it takes watching silly shows on tv, reading a magazine, or playing a video game. However, when kids are given what they need without feeling their time is being controlled, they are more likely to spend less time doing the stuff we may see as a waste of time and more time exploring what interests them. And it is ok for kids to be doing nothing at all. It is ok for them to be bored. They likely won't stay that way for long, unless they are accustomed to being spoon-fed every idea and activity. If they are, it may be time to sit down and join them in an activity, whether it be playing a board game, throwing a ball, or painting pictures (without checking Pinterest for ideas).
I love my children and their differences. I am reminded every day, that while they are plenty alike, they are also to very distinct individuals. I have choices as a parent. I can force them to do the same things and make life "easier," or I can put in the extra effort and see them for who they are, not who I want them to be. With it being summer time, this is the perfect time to do just that. Give them freedom, keep things simple, and support their crazy ideas...as long as it doesn't include jumping off the house and flying like Superman....
Monday, June 2, 2014
Relinquishing control
One of the hardest things to do as a parent is letting go. Our children come into the world completely dependent on us. As they grow, so does their ability to do more. As parents, it can be hard to step back and let them do it on their own. It is hard to let them make that mess you know you will have to clean up. It is scary to let them climb on the playground equipment without assistance. It is difficult to let other people take care of them.
I think the hardest thing to let go of is being responsible for their choices and behaviors. We want to see them achieve so much and avoid the mistakes we made. We also worry about what everyone else thinks. So we try to lay out everything. We give them second chances. We lay out our expectations, and then we force them to comply by nagging them or threatening them with punishment. We get angry or upset when they don't just do what we want or need them to do. Then we make choices out of anger or frustration. And when we realize we are not helping our children grow but, instead only creating more stress for ourselves, it is still hard to let go. It takes a conscious choice. It is stepping back and saying "I can't be responsible for his choices."
I am responsible for showing and telling my children what is expected. I am responsible for helping them learn to think through their choices. My son is reaching an age where he will not always be under my supervision. I have to learn to let go and hope the things I have taught him thus far will stick. I have to begin to trust he will know how to handle situations without my interference or guidance. It is SO hard. Being with him all day, I pretty much know everything going on. That in itself is not really true, though. I can't read his mind, so I only know his outward actions, not his internal thoughts or motivations. Those are things I cannot control at all.
When he doesn't handle something the best way, it is hard to wait and talk it out later. It is hard to let him suffer and learn through his mistakes, especially when he repeats the same mistakes over and over. But then I think back. And I remember the things I have consistently taught him, and I see him act accordingly on his own. And it gives me courage to step back and allow my baby to grow up and be who he is. It allows him to think for himself and become stronger on his own. It allows me to appreciate who he is rather than worrying about something not going right. And he can still grow from the experiences because we can talk about feelings, choices, and reactions after some time to reflect and process.
When I think about unschooling, letting go is front-and-center in making it work. I have to let him spread his wings and see where he flies to. That does not mean I can't be there to help pick him up if he falls. And I can also give him tools that will help him fly. I can provide a lot of resources. I can help him when he asks for help. I can encourage him to try new things just to see what it is like. I can just be present and interested when he shares, careful not to devalue what he cares about or is excited about. I have to let him determine his destiny, whether he becomes an engineer or a garbageman. If I stand in his way, I may interfere with him realizing his natural talents and abilities. If I think I know what he should be doing to prepare for his future, I may steer him down a path that just does not suit him. It is so much better to help him along his journey rather than directing him. All it takes is letting go.
Kind of makes me want to start singing the words to a currently very popular song....Of course, I would much rather gradually let go of my kids in a safe environment so they can grow into their future selves at a pace they can handle. And that is why letting go a little more each day is what our kids need from us. While it can be heart-breaking to think about my kids growing up and needing me less and less, I can't wait to see them fly.
So what did your kids do when you let them spread their wings?
I think the hardest thing to let go of is being responsible for their choices and behaviors. We want to see them achieve so much and avoid the mistakes we made. We also worry about what everyone else thinks. So we try to lay out everything. We give them second chances. We lay out our expectations, and then we force them to comply by nagging them or threatening them with punishment. We get angry or upset when they don't just do what we want or need them to do. Then we make choices out of anger or frustration. And when we realize we are not helping our children grow but, instead only creating more stress for ourselves, it is still hard to let go. It takes a conscious choice. It is stepping back and saying "I can't be responsible for his choices."
I am responsible for showing and telling my children what is expected. I am responsible for helping them learn to think through their choices. My son is reaching an age where he will not always be under my supervision. I have to learn to let go and hope the things I have taught him thus far will stick. I have to begin to trust he will know how to handle situations without my interference or guidance. It is SO hard. Being with him all day, I pretty much know everything going on. That in itself is not really true, though. I can't read his mind, so I only know his outward actions, not his internal thoughts or motivations. Those are things I cannot control at all.
When he doesn't handle something the best way, it is hard to wait and talk it out later. It is hard to let him suffer and learn through his mistakes, especially when he repeats the same mistakes over and over. But then I think back. And I remember the things I have consistently taught him, and I see him act accordingly on his own. And it gives me courage to step back and allow my baby to grow up and be who he is. It allows him to think for himself and become stronger on his own. It allows me to appreciate who he is rather than worrying about something not going right. And he can still grow from the experiences because we can talk about feelings, choices, and reactions after some time to reflect and process.
When I think about unschooling, letting go is front-and-center in making it work. I have to let him spread his wings and see where he flies to. That does not mean I can't be there to help pick him up if he falls. And I can also give him tools that will help him fly. I can provide a lot of resources. I can help him when he asks for help. I can encourage him to try new things just to see what it is like. I can just be present and interested when he shares, careful not to devalue what he cares about or is excited about. I have to let him determine his destiny, whether he becomes an engineer or a garbageman. If I stand in his way, I may interfere with him realizing his natural talents and abilities. If I think I know what he should be doing to prepare for his future, I may steer him down a path that just does not suit him. It is so much better to help him along his journey rather than directing him. All it takes is letting go.
Kind of makes me want to start singing the words to a currently very popular song....Of course, I would much rather gradually let go of my kids in a safe environment so they can grow into their future selves at a pace they can handle. And that is why letting go a little more each day is what our kids need from us. While it can be heart-breaking to think about my kids growing up and needing me less and less, I can't wait to see them fly.
So what did your kids do when you let them spread their wings?
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Classic Louisiana cuisine...red beans and rice
Since marrying my husband, I have learned to prepare a few regional favorites from Louisiana like gumbo, jambalaya, and red beans and rice. Last night I made red beans for dinner and thought I would share it with you...my slightly healthified version. Be prepared to start this the night before you want to cook them. And it is not something you can throw in the pot and leave the house for a couple of hours...but you can squeeze in a quick trip to the store for drinks or dessert....
Dice green peppers, onions, celery, and slice sausage down the middle and then into 1/2 inch slices.
Red Beans and Rice
2 1 lb bags of dried small red beans
2 stalks celery
1 large onion
1 large green bell pepper
1 package beef sausage (I usually use Hillshire Farms Beef Sausage, 100% beef is better for flavor)
1 package smoked turkey sausage (like Jennie-O, Butterball, or Oscar Meyer--2/3 less fat :))
Salt to taste
Fresh Garlic to taste
Any other seasoning to give it a little kick...to taste (cayenne, red chili powder, pepper)
2-3 bay leaves
6 cups of prepared rice (I try to use brown rice-obviously a bit more nutritious, but use white if you prefer)
First, check beans for rocks or bad beans and then soak them...I put them in a large bowl, fill with water, and leave overnight.
Dice green peppers, onions, celery, and slice sausage down the middle and then into 1/2 inch slices.
Get a large skillet and begin browning the sausage low-medium heat. (I do it this way so I don't have to add oil for caramelizing.) Add veggies and caramelize if you have time (more flavorful). If not, cook them until soft. While veggies and sausage are cooking, drain and rinse beans. Get a large pot and put in beans and cover with water 2-3 inches. The more water you have, the thinner the broth will be. Begin heating to a soft boil, then lower heat to a simmer. After veggies and sausage are ready, dump into pot, add the bay leaves and garlic.
I have heard that adding salt at the beginning will toughen your beans. I have added seasoning at the beginning and also 30 minutes to an hour into cooking. I could not tell a difference, so it is up to you. It will take more salt than you think. I added a tablespoon and taste tested the beans several times during the cooking time and had to add more. But add in small amounts. If it ends up too salty, you will have to have a glass of water to finish a bowl! If you find you have too much water once all the ingredients are added, cook with the lid off. This will allow water to evaporate and condense your red beans and concentrate the flavors. Stir beans every half hour to prevent burning on the bottom. Plan on at least 2 hours before this is ready. If you plan on eating at a set time, make early and then keep warm on the stove until time to serve.
I have heard that adding salt at the beginning will toughen your beans. I have added seasoning at the beginning and also 30 minutes to an hour into cooking. I could not tell a difference, so it is up to you. It will take more salt than you think. I added a tablespoon and taste tested the beans several times during the cooking time and had to add more. But add in small amounts. If it ends up too salty, you will have to have a glass of water to finish a bowl! If you find you have too much water once all the ingredients are added, cook with the lid off. This will allow water to evaporate and condense your red beans and concentrate the flavors. Stir beans every half hour to prevent burning on the bottom. Plan on at least 2 hours before this is ready. If you plan on eating at a set time, make early and then keep warm on the stove until time to serve.
The best part is how good it smells when you walk into the house after it has been cooking awhile...yum!
This recipe is great for either a large gathering or for leftovers for several days...which is nice when it means less cooking!Saturday, May 17, 2014
Another reason I love homeschooling...I don't have to get permission
I was at the dentist office the other day for my son's six month checkup. It is hard to believe he only has two baby teeth left at eight years old. One of those two teeth will be gone in another week or two. As I was standing in line to check out, I had three people in front of me who had to get an excuse for their kids because they had to miss school for their appointments. That made me think about how fortunate I was not to have permission to take care of my kids. If they are sick, they can stay in bed for a week if they need to. When they are sick for a week, I do not have to make an expensive trip to see a doctor in order to prove the illness. I do not have to try and plan around school or make sure my son will not miss some test or big assignment because of routine healthcare needs. I can schedule when it is best for us.
As a homeschool family, I am also able to go do things for others at the drop of a hat, like house sit for my mom when she goes on a retirement vacation. I can just pack up the van and make it a vacation of my own. That is what I got to do last week. And we did a lot of things...without the confines of the school schedule. We went to the zoo and took a leisurely stroll, unlike all the kids who were there on a field trip and had a limited amount of time. We later hopped onto the train that took us over to the aquarium and botanical gardens. We ate lunch while watching the sharks swim by. Then we saw the miniature trains and the over-sized garden where the kids pretended to be lost in an ant colony. We spent another morning at the natural history museum, ate some New Mexican food for lunch and came back to play at the children's science museum. My son found his favorite spot in the chain reaction room where he got to build stuff with everything from pulleys and tinker toys to paperclips and bells. And we did not have to prove to anyone what we had learned. The kids were able to take in what interested them and leave the rest for another visit.
I think my kids had a favorite day in all this. They got to do stuff they had never done before at a family game center. We were able to take advantage of the special of the day (half priced arm bands) with very few people around. We played miniature golf, rode go-karts, bumper boats, and bumper cars, and attempted laser tag. A family fun experience that will not be forgotten anytime soon.
While on this week-long adventure, we were also able to see my grandad for his birthday...a blessing because he may not have too many left.
As a homeschooler, my kids also have the freedom to wear what they want everyday, as long as it is not offensive and of appropriate coverage (I have a daughter, so I have to start thinking about this even more...). They can wear cutoffs, tank tops, dresses, pajamas, sweats, Mario shirts, Dora shirts, etc. and they will not be faced with being sent home or suspended a week before finals because the school decided to enforce the rule randomly. My kids are also able to learn and experience life in a somewhat carefree environment, without peer pressure and a desire to fit in. They can be themselves with me as a daily guide for learning proper social behavior without becoming ostracized in the school and forever being remembered as the kid that did xyz in first grade.
As a mom, I would probably pack lunches for my kids if they were in school. At home, I do not have to get approval for what they eat. While I am very conscious of what we eat in our home, I do not need an outsider deciding what my child is and is not allowed to eat. And I never have to worry about whether or not they will get to eat if I lost track of paying for their school lunches. They are at home and will never have to skip a meal because they could not pay a small balance on their account.
We live in a country that is free, but we allow others to dictate so much of our lives that I am not sure we can really call it freedom. And while some of the intentions behind rules and laws are understandable, it can become quite ridiculous. We as adults are treated just like the children we are raising...if you don't lay down the law and have a bunch of rules, you cannot expect parents to do what is best for their children. In unschooling, I have learned that children do not need to be micromanaged, just loved and supported and forgiven. I don't believe parents should be micromanaged either...just loved and supported and forgiven.
What is something that you wish your school system did not make rules about? And if you homeschool, what are you glad you do not have to do?
As a homeschool family, I am also able to go do things for others at the drop of a hat, like house sit for my mom when she goes on a retirement vacation. I can just pack up the van and make it a vacation of my own. That is what I got to do last week. And we did a lot of things...without the confines of the school schedule. We went to the zoo and took a leisurely stroll, unlike all the kids who were there on a field trip and had a limited amount of time. We later hopped onto the train that took us over to the aquarium and botanical gardens. We ate lunch while watching the sharks swim by. Then we saw the miniature trains and the over-sized garden where the kids pretended to be lost in an ant colony. We spent another morning at the natural history museum, ate some New Mexican food for lunch and came back to play at the children's science museum. My son found his favorite spot in the chain reaction room where he got to build stuff with everything from pulleys and tinker toys to paperclips and bells. And we did not have to prove to anyone what we had learned. The kids were able to take in what interested them and leave the rest for another visit.
I think my kids had a favorite day in all this. They got to do stuff they had never done before at a family game center. We were able to take advantage of the special of the day (half priced arm bands) with very few people around. We played miniature golf, rode go-karts, bumper boats, and bumper cars, and attempted laser tag. A family fun experience that will not be forgotten anytime soon.
While on this week-long adventure, we were also able to see my grandad for his birthday...a blessing because he may not have too many left.
As a homeschooler, my kids also have the freedom to wear what they want everyday, as long as it is not offensive and of appropriate coverage (I have a daughter, so I have to start thinking about this even more...). They can wear cutoffs, tank tops, dresses, pajamas, sweats, Mario shirts, Dora shirts, etc. and they will not be faced with being sent home or suspended a week before finals because the school decided to enforce the rule randomly. My kids are also able to learn and experience life in a somewhat carefree environment, without peer pressure and a desire to fit in. They can be themselves with me as a daily guide for learning proper social behavior without becoming ostracized in the school and forever being remembered as the kid that did xyz in first grade.
As a mom, I would probably pack lunches for my kids if they were in school. At home, I do not have to get approval for what they eat. While I am very conscious of what we eat in our home, I do not need an outsider deciding what my child is and is not allowed to eat. And I never have to worry about whether or not they will get to eat if I lost track of paying for their school lunches. They are at home and will never have to skip a meal because they could not pay a small balance on their account.
We live in a country that is free, but we allow others to dictate so much of our lives that I am not sure we can really call it freedom. And while some of the intentions behind rules and laws are understandable, it can become quite ridiculous. We as adults are treated just like the children we are raising...if you don't lay down the law and have a bunch of rules, you cannot expect parents to do what is best for their children. In unschooling, I have learned that children do not need to be micromanaged, just loved and supported and forgiven. I don't believe parents should be micromanaged either...just loved and supported and forgiven.
What is something that you wish your school system did not make rules about? And if you homeschool, what are you glad you do not have to do?
Monday, March 31, 2014
The age old unschooling question...what about screen time?
Since before having my first child, I have been preached the message about screen time. The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly believes infants through the age of two should not have ANY screen time. Beyond that, they believe it should be limited to two hours. Screen time, of course, is any time spent in front of a TV, computer, game system, or smartphone. I did my best to follow the guidelines the first year and a half, and I always had it in the back of my mind for the next few years. At the younger ages, however, every show and game seems to have preschool educational value. My son definitely benefited. He knew his letters and sounds, knew how to count, and even learned to add before I even began to think about how I wanted to approach homeschooling him. I could really see the benefit in screen time while at the same time being worried about that two hour time limit.
When a child is up from 8am in the morning until almost 9pm at night, how is he supposed to spend thirteen hours of his day? Take away three hours for baths and eating (that is being generous), and there are still ten hours in the day. A trip to the park for an hour and a half plus driving still leaves eight hours. Playing with toys for another four hours still leaves a stay-at-home child four more hours to fill each day. What happens when the weather is bad or a family lives in an apartment with not a lot of space to spare inside or out? What if it is just too hot or too cold to be outside? What happens when mom is sick every day during pregnancy and then has to care for a newborn? Like it or not, sometimes, screen time can become a much needed babysitter for a stay-at-home mom with no (or limited) extended family support. But that concern about too much screen time is still there.
Fast forward to school age. Children spend a lot of time sitting at a desk in a classroom. Sure, they have recess and lunch, and teachers often incorporate movement into the learning, at least until it is expected they are old enough to be able to sit still. But much of the six or more hours a day they are at school, they are sitting and learning. No wonder AAP preaches two hours. If a child spends the better part of ten hours doing nothing but sitting between school, homework, car or bus rides, and meal times, of course they need to get up and move. Their bodies need it. But do these same rules apply in homeschooling and unschooling?
What is even more interesting is that the recommendation has shifted recently. There should be no more than two hours on screens for entertainment purposes, but if it is deemed educational, then the limit is not as important. To me, that does not make sound science. Either it is two hours or it is not. And in an unschooling environment, just about everything a child does is considered to have learning value. If that is the case, where do we draw the line? Isn't it better to instead strive for the two hours a day recommended for our children for structured physical activity and active free play? If my son was on his feet playing and exercising for two hours a day, why would it be necessary to limit screen time if he is learning so much during that time?
Some people may still say limits are necessary. And in some cases, they are. However, an interesting thing often happens when kids do not have limited screen time or they have very generous limits. My son loves to play video games, computer learning games, watch tv, and watch YouTube videos. He also likes to imitate the YouTube game videos he has seen and makes his own. He creates his own commentary while he plays a game. When he starts playing a new game, he will want to play for hours for a few days. Then he gets off and may go two days with minimal screen time and use that time instead to play and create. Surprisingly, there are also quite a few ways that life itself places natural limits. Running errands, going to the park, working on Cub Scout projects, reading books at bedtime, eating meals and taking care of assigned responsibilities all naturally limit screen time in my home without having to battle my son to get him off and without me having to monitor and police him. Of course, my son loves to do other activities too. That is why offering options and exposing kids to new things and opportunities is a key element of unschooling.
In all reality, excessive screen time, in my experience, is a symptom of something else entirely. When parents are concerned about it, then it is time to dig a little deeper and look at the whole picture. Do their kids lead stressful or busy lives? Is screen time an outlet to escape all that? Are parents too busy to spend quality time with their kids? Are there problems at home, and the screens are used as a distraction? Are they isolated, and playing online games is one of the few ways they can spend time with their friends or other people? Do parents have unrealistic expectations of how much screen time is reasonable for their kids? Do they really know how their kids are spending time on screens? Do they take an interest in what their kids are doing, or do they just get frustrated that they are on screens ALL THE TIME? Is scarcity vs. abundance in play?
There are a lot of "experts" out there that tell us all how things should be done. Sometimes they are right. And sometimes they are wrong. Sometimes what the experts say fits one child and not the other. As parents, if we listen to advice with discernment and with an understanding of our own children, we can better choose what advice is useful and what is not. Every family dynamic, every child, and every environment is a little different. The only ones that can decide what is truly best for their families is the families themselves. They have to look at their own evidence and make decisions and figure out what works best in their homes. In my family, there is a lot of screen time. But it is not a waste of time. A lot comes out of it. We are also in a season of our lives where other options are more limited. And when this season of our lives changes, so will screen time-naturally. It ebbs and flows, but it is not a bad thing in our home because we don't allow it to interfere with life. It instead becomes one aspect of life, along with many other pieces that complete the puzzle.
When a child is up from 8am in the morning until almost 9pm at night, how is he supposed to spend thirteen hours of his day? Take away three hours for baths and eating (that is being generous), and there are still ten hours in the day. A trip to the park for an hour and a half plus driving still leaves eight hours. Playing with toys for another four hours still leaves a stay-at-home child four more hours to fill each day. What happens when the weather is bad or a family lives in an apartment with not a lot of space to spare inside or out? What if it is just too hot or too cold to be outside? What happens when mom is sick every day during pregnancy and then has to care for a newborn? Like it or not, sometimes, screen time can become a much needed babysitter for a stay-at-home mom with no (or limited) extended family support. But that concern about too much screen time is still there.
Fast forward to school age. Children spend a lot of time sitting at a desk in a classroom. Sure, they have recess and lunch, and teachers often incorporate movement into the learning, at least until it is expected they are old enough to be able to sit still. But much of the six or more hours a day they are at school, they are sitting and learning. No wonder AAP preaches two hours. If a child spends the better part of ten hours doing nothing but sitting between school, homework, car or bus rides, and meal times, of course they need to get up and move. Their bodies need it. But do these same rules apply in homeschooling and unschooling?
What is even more interesting is that the recommendation has shifted recently. There should be no more than two hours on screens for entertainment purposes, but if it is deemed educational, then the limit is not as important. To me, that does not make sound science. Either it is two hours or it is not. And in an unschooling environment, just about everything a child does is considered to have learning value. If that is the case, where do we draw the line? Isn't it better to instead strive for the two hours a day recommended for our children for structured physical activity and active free play? If my son was on his feet playing and exercising for two hours a day, why would it be necessary to limit screen time if he is learning so much during that time?
Some people may still say limits are necessary. And in some cases, they are. However, an interesting thing often happens when kids do not have limited screen time or they have very generous limits. My son loves to play video games, computer learning games, watch tv, and watch YouTube videos. He also likes to imitate the YouTube game videos he has seen and makes his own. He creates his own commentary while he plays a game. When he starts playing a new game, he will want to play for hours for a few days. Then he gets off and may go two days with minimal screen time and use that time instead to play and create. Surprisingly, there are also quite a few ways that life itself places natural limits. Running errands, going to the park, working on Cub Scout projects, reading books at bedtime, eating meals and taking care of assigned responsibilities all naturally limit screen time in my home without having to battle my son to get him off and without me having to monitor and police him. Of course, my son loves to do other activities too. That is why offering options and exposing kids to new things and opportunities is a key element of unschooling.
In all reality, excessive screen time, in my experience, is a symptom of something else entirely. When parents are concerned about it, then it is time to dig a little deeper and look at the whole picture. Do their kids lead stressful or busy lives? Is screen time an outlet to escape all that? Are parents too busy to spend quality time with their kids? Are there problems at home, and the screens are used as a distraction? Are they isolated, and playing online games is one of the few ways they can spend time with their friends or other people? Do parents have unrealistic expectations of how much screen time is reasonable for their kids? Do they really know how their kids are spending time on screens? Do they take an interest in what their kids are doing, or do they just get frustrated that they are on screens ALL THE TIME? Is scarcity vs. abundance in play?
There are a lot of "experts" out there that tell us all how things should be done. Sometimes they are right. And sometimes they are wrong. Sometimes what the experts say fits one child and not the other. As parents, if we listen to advice with discernment and with an understanding of our own children, we can better choose what advice is useful and what is not. Every family dynamic, every child, and every environment is a little different. The only ones that can decide what is truly best for their families is the families themselves. They have to look at their own evidence and make decisions and figure out what works best in their homes. In my family, there is a lot of screen time. But it is not a waste of time. A lot comes out of it. We are also in a season of our lives where other options are more limited. And when this season of our lives changes, so will screen time-naturally. It ebbs and flows, but it is not a bad thing in our home because we don't allow it to interfere with life. It instead becomes one aspect of life, along with many other pieces that complete the puzzle.
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