Will my son's future be ruined if he hates to write?

I have a typical 7 year old boy.  He hates to write.  It takes too long.  And spelling all those words gets exhausting after five minutes.  And there is a cramp in his hand...and what what he supposed to do, again?  He can tell me a story non-stop for fifteen minutes.  He can create videos with a beginning and an end.  He knows grammar because he reads well, speaks well, and  can do the computer games that ask click and point questions about writing.  And while typing on the computer is a little better, it still requires time, it still requires spelling, and the questions still remains after all that concentration (along with thoughts of what he really wants to be doing), what was he supposed to be doing?

Sometimes, I have to stop and ask myself, is it really the end of the world if he does not become a good writer?  And I realize it is not.  Sometimes he does choose to write, and when he does, he is motivated to do it and spell correctly.  And I take advantage of those opportunities to encourage him and remind him of the benefits of knowing how to write.  There will come a day when he will need to write, and his maturity will carry him through.  The skills are there.  They just don't get practiced a lot.  He has legible print.  He is careful to do his letters correctly.  He even tries to do grammar correctly when it applies.

 

Sometimes I get lucky and find a gem that gets my son 

excited about reading, writing and most importantly creating.

The most encouraging thing I have discovered since I first began exploring unschooling is the number of kids who never read or write until they are 10 or 11, and guess what?  They are ready for it, so they excel and quickly catch up to and even surpass their peers.  (Their desire to learn has not yet been squelched by the demands of the school system.)  The thing that helped them the most is conversing (either verbally or through text or online games) with others and hearing others read well written material to them (or sometimes less well written materials like video game dialogues, etc).  The groundwork was being laid.  It just couldn't be seen and quantified or standardize.

 I have faith that one day my son will find a voice in writing.  With his creative nature, he is almost destined to.  Who knows, maybe he will learn to use a software program like Dragon Naturally Speaking and speak all his words as they appear in front of him on the screen.  His daddy uses it, and it is a lifesaver for the amount of work he has to do for his PhD.  So, even if he never becomes great at writing, he can still become a great writer.  I don't believe forcing him to sit down and write all the time will encourage him to want to write.  It didn't work before.  It only caused great conflict.  I now choose to have a more peaceful home and offer other ways for him to express and show his creativity until he is truly ready to put pen to paper.  In the meantime, simply by exposure, the groundwork is being laid.

When was the last time you were motivated to write something that mattered to you?  Did you make sure it was well-written?  I know I have done that many times over in my life.  I have confidence my son will too.

I hate healthcare decisions

A couple of weeks ago, my daughter came down with a fever and had it for a day and a half.  Then she seemed good for a day.  Then she complained about her ears hurting.  She is two, so who really knows what that means?  Do they ache, do they hurt, or are they just clogged up?  So the guessing game began.  Did she have an ear infection, and should I take her to the doctor?  If you have great health insurance and a pediatrician, or if you have Medicaid, the choice becomes a lot easier.  But I don't have that kind of coverage.

I have a high deductible plan with an HSA account.  It is more affordable than the insurance they offer for a spouse and dependents where my husband works, and we bank on the fact that the kids and I are healthy.  Fortunately, I have been able to build up a savings of a few hundred dollars in that account out of $2500 put into it over the last year.  I hope to save up enough for the deductible (over $5000 for the family/year) so it is there if something serious happens, but that is hard to do when there are medical expenses that come up for dental, vision, and prescriptions.  Who wants to spend $80 just to find out "It is just a cold, come back in a week if she is not better."?  But what if she really does have an ear infection?  If I wait, I make her suffer longer.  Of course, that also means the doctor visit and the $100 antibiotic prescription (the liquid antibiotics are ridiculous, and my kids never want to take them anyway!) will come out of pocket.  I am forced to play it day by day and make an educated guess.  I search the internet to refamiliarize myself with the symptoms and what to do.  Of course, all the advice says "go see your pediatrician."  No one wants to be liable for giving you bad advice, I guess. 

Then, several days later, after I think I have skated by without seeing the doctor, my son wakes up with a fever.  And my daughter complains about her ears again.  Oh great!  Now what should I do?  I don't yet have a pediatrician where I live, so I have to decide, since the weekend is almost here, do I go to urgent care or get stuck going to the ER on the weekend if anything gets worse?

Luckily, this time, it seems they have both made a full recovery without medical attention.  I have not always gotten this lucky, though.  And it is tough paying that doctor bill when all the doctor does is listen to the chest, check the throat, and take a peek into the ears.  I think I need to invest in a stethoscope and one of the scopes with a light.  It may just save me a lot in the long-run.

I don't know if Obamacare is better or not for this country.  Long-term, I am sure it is not.  No one I know seems to like it.  It has had some benefits.  It got rid of preexisting conditions for kids (a couple of years too late in my case).  And now adults can't be denied for preexisting conditions, but the rates may still be unaffordable.  Young adults can still get coverage through their parents regardless of whether they are in school or not.  And if I had any plans of having another baby, it is nice that I would not have to plan up to two years in advance in order to get the doctor visits and birth paid for.  Some (but not all) individual insurance plans allowed you to add on maternity, but it was almost like a savings account because it cost so much more, and you had to have it for a set time before you would get "complete" coverage.  A lot of pregnancies are not planned, and that could have been quite a financial strain if it all had to come out-of-pocket.  Something had to change because things were getting out of control.

The truth is, my health insurance would be one of the first expenses to drop if we became unemployed, which is ok for my kids.  They can get Medicaid.  But my husband and I are not getting any younger, so what are we supposed to do?  Medical bills are a major contributing factor to many people declaring bankruptcy.  I have been without insurance on many different occasions in my life, but there are times I needed it and was fortunate to have the coverage at that time.  Sometimes I hope and pray we will stay healthy because nowadays, even with insurance, it will cost us an arm and a leg if anything major ever happens.  I am still waiting to see the full impact of Obamacare. 

How has Obamacare helped or hurt your family so far? 

You can't go wrong with enchiladas, can you?

I grew up in New Mexico and have always loved Mexican food.  At least that is what I believed until I moved.  Surely Florida could turn out some decent food since they have so many immigrants from Cuba, Mexico, and other Latin countries.  Not so much.  No one had green chile, poblano chiles occasionally, but it was not the same.  And the red chile was different.    In Louisiana, there were a few restaurants where almost all the staff spoke Spanish.  Surely Louisiana could turn out some decent Mexican food.  Again, not so much.  On to Texas, San Antonio to be more precise.  The population is something like 75% Hispanic. Surely they could do it right...not there either.  I did manage to find some canned versions of red sauce that were decent and some mild green chile in the little bitty cans. I even found the Hatch brand.  But eating out just did not do the trick.  I was beginning to lose all hope in finding Mexican food that actually tasted good when eating at a restaurant.

Then I came back to New Mexico, and I had an epiphany.  I have finally come to realize I do not love Mexican food.  Don't get me wrong, I like it.  What I love, however, is New Mexican food.  I love being back in New Mexico where you can go just about anywhere and get green chile--pizza joints, fast food burgers and burritos, and the frozen section of the grocery store. They even roast the fresh stuff outside when it is in season.  And red chile is not like what I have found everywhere else, which is more like Texas chile.  It is the real stuff.  If you are from New Mexico, you understand.

I love enchiladas--chicken, ground beef, cheese--with green chile or real red chile (The sauce is what makes them great!).  My family has come to love one recipe (who am I kidding, we have always loved it!) that was given to us by my step-mom.  It is for a green chile casserole.  In my efforts to be more health conscious, I have made a few minor modifications.  I still can't make this too often because I don't want to give up the cheese!

Green Chile Casserole

1 lb of colby jack cheese, grated (this can easily be adjusted, if you prefer lower calorie)

2 lb extra lean cooked ground beef (can substitute ground turkey, ground chicken, shredded chicken)

1 16oz sour cream (regular or low-fat)

1 16oz thawed container green chile (can substitute 4 small cans or fresh green chile temp of choice)

1 XL can cream of chicken soup (regular or low-fat) (or 2 1/2-3 regular cans)

dash of garlic powder

dash of onion powder

12 (At least) corn tortillas (white or yellow)

regular size casserole dish sprayed with cooking spray

Directions:
First, put a thin layer of green chile mixture (all ingredients except cheese and tortillas mixed together) on the bottom of pan.

Then Layer:

-corn tortillas (tear into big pieces)

-green chile mixture

-cheese (sprinkle lightly)

You will have 2-3 layers. Top with what is left of the colby jack cheese.

Bake at 350 until bubbly in the middle. (30-45 min)

I do have children, so I divide the mixture before adding green chile and make half of it with green chile and half without.

One day, I will learn to make my own cream of chicken soup, and I will buy a tortilla press and make my own tortillas (a lot more time consuming without one).  Until then, I will have to live with the store bought, processed versions.  But I can live with that, they just taste too good to give them up...

So what are your local favorite foods that no one else can seem to get right?

Why I chose to homeschool and why I am glad I did

Everyone has their own reasons for homeschooling.  Some live in bad school districts and can't afford private school.  Some follow their religious convictions.  Some have kids struggling or failing in school.  Some have kids that were bullied in school.  Some do it to protect their kids from the craziness of a sexualized environment, drugs, violence, and school shootings.  Some do it because they move a lot or they currently live overseas.  And, unfortunately, a very small number do it because they are sick in the head and abusive.  Of course, those are the ones that make the headlines.  What most of us want is to just do the best for their kids.  As for me, I chose this route because I wanted to give my children a richer learning environment.  I wanted to do more hands-on and exploration.  I wanted to instill a love of learning as a way of life.  I wanted to take away the limits that classroom walls create. 

There are days I feel I have failed miserably at this.  Part of it is comparing myself to others (Big Mistake!) Part of it is circumstances.  I went through 9 months of nausea while pregnant with my daughter.  I had a newborn and a slow recovery from a c-section.  I moved three times to three different states in the last 4 years.  At times, I had limited or no funds.  I had days where I lost motivation.  I have been tired or stressed.  I have wanted a break from dealing with the spirited and challenging nature of my son.  I've had to do the dishes, wash the clothes, mop the floors and get the groceries.  How can I be giving them a rich learning environment if there is so much life getting in the way?

Then I stop and reflect for a moment.  We have made friends everywhere we have gone, so we have had many chances to develop social skills.  We had annual passes to Sea World for a year and learned a lot about ocean life along with just having fun.  We've been a part of a co-op, homeschool groups, and Cub Scouts.  We have gone to the zoo, science and natural history museums, and children's museums many times.  We have created art, written letters, and made storybooks and cards.  We have learned how to take pictures and use video cameras and have learned how to use the computers software that goes with them.  We've dabbled in computer programming and building bridges and learning all the basics we would learn in the classroom with fun computer games.  We have even learned a little Spanish and how to type properly on a keyboard.  We have filled in Mad Libs books and drawn in doodle books.

Since the age of two, we have read books almost every day and taken many adventures through their pages.  We have watched many educational-based videos and learned all kinds of science through Magic School Bus, experiments, and human body posters.  We even learned about the Revolutionary War through Liberty Kids.  We have played several different board games, including chess with Super Mario characters.  We have built castles, forts, and garages and played at the park, built sand castles, and jumped on trampolines and other bouncers.  We have gone to sports games and live performances and attended the county fair.  We have gone to Carlsbad Caverns, Disney World three times, and the botanical gardens in a few places.  We have camped on the beach.  We have looked for places on our maps and globe that we read about in our books, and we've studied other cultures along with the states we had lived in.  We have learned Christian values through watching Veggie Tales, studying the Bible, and attending VBS every year.  And in all that, there has been plenty of being a kids and playing and building relationships.

I guess when I start looking at the whole picture, I have done exactly what I set out to do.  If my kids were in school, we would be caught up in the busyness of it all.  We could not have taken our time learning the things of the world.  We could not have enjoyed some things as often.  I may have also been tempted to return to work, leaving even less time for all these experiences.  We are really only at the beginning of this journey.  I can't wait to see what the next fifteen years have in store!  What about you, what have your kids learned outside of the classroom?

Common Core--is it really as bad as everyone says?

I homeschool, so I don't focus on the common core for educating my kids.  I do think having some education standards are important in the school systems, more for the kids sake since so many move from state to state throughout their school years.  And four year colleges have a minimum set of requirements.  So some common standards at the high school level may not be so bad either. So, how bad could common core really be?

I don't like the government having control over too many things.  This is, after all, the land of the free, right?  And everyone in politics always seems to have a hidden agenda.  Very few are actually looking out for the individual's best interests.  That is the first problem with common core (and any other standards sent down from the top).  But I really wanted to make an informed decision if I was going to speak out against it here.  I needed to get my ducks in a row and do my research.

After doing much reading and researching, these are some of the things I have learned.

1. Testing costs a lot of money.  What if that money were put somewhere else?
2. Training everyone on the new standards and making more new and relevant materials and textbooks also costs money.  What if that money was spent on real professional development instead of the next great idea that the next president wants to try?
3. How we compare to other countries on tests has little to do with our individual future successes as described in this Washington Post article: Why It Never Matters That America 'Lags' Other Nations On Global Test Scores
4. We are lowering the age that kids learn certain skills based on incomplete evidence.  Take a look at two normal kids and put one in preschool.  By second or third grade, they are both at the same IQ level (Intellectual Performance ).  So, while a temporary advantages seemed to be gained, it did not last.  There is example after example supporting this concept in reading, math, and writing. 
5. Kids who do not get the early advantage of preschool get left behind and put into remedial classes or get labeled as having mental deficits when all it really is they were not ready to learn a certain thing yet. Common core pushes kids to learn some things earlier than a lot of kids are ready for.
6. Common core tells me one more thing I have to do with my kids, taking away a little bit more of my freedom, especially if it somehow trickles down into homeschool.
7. Common core limits us to a standard rather than encouraging us to strive for greatness and innovation.
8. In order to get the special federal funding, states must follow the common core requirements, so support for the program could have been bought.

I am sure there are plenty more.  In an ideal world, I get the idea of supporting concepts like common core.  However, teachers spend a lot of time in school learning how to be great teachers, and all this other junk interferes with them being able to become great.  Many of them give up after just a few years, and not because they make bad teachers. Education decisions should be made a the school level with teacher input.  And at the higher levels, they should be made by each department within the school. 

Kids need to be given the time and space to develop without being ostracized.  They need time to be creative and imaginative.  They need to get the basics down without rushing on in order to cover all the material in the allotted time.  What point is the rest if you miss the basic building blocks?  They also need time to unwind and chill out after school without tons of homework, especially in the elementary ages.  This gives their brains time to process and decompress so they can come back refreshed and ready for more learning.  Most importantly, they need time to be able to build strong family bonds, which will have more impact on future success than anything else.  And that does not cost the taxpayer a dime.
 
Now you have to ask yourself, what does this mean for my child specifically, and what can this mean for this country in general 20 years from now?  Are national standards what we really need?  And if you disagree with my perspective, why do you support common core (or any national standards)?

Homemade tortillas, yum!

I am a label reader.  When I buy new products, or when I am in a particularly health conscious mood, I look on the package and read the label.   I didn't always do this, but the more and more I hear about stuff that goes into our foods, the more and more I want to limit processed.  I am also a native to the Southwest.  Tortillas are a staple.  They are great for wraps, burritos, quesadillas, snacks, etc.  They are probably the most versatile bread you can have on hand. And you can have fresh ones on the table in as little as 15-20 minutes.

Have you ever read the ingredient list on a package of most tortillas, even the healthy versions?  I like my ingredient list much more!  Several years ago, I got an authentic Mexican food cookbook (another one of those books I need to dig out of our storage unit).  I got a recipe for homemade tortillas, tried it, and it was well received.  But with a half a cup of shortening and white flour, I couldn't help but think I could do better.  Over the years I have experimented, and this is what I have come up with.

Homemade White Whole Wheat Tortillas:
3 cups whole wheat white flour
2 tsp salt
1 tsp garlic powder
1 cup hot water (hot make dough easier to work with)
1/3 cup olive oil
(updated 9/11/14)  I now add 1 tsp of baking soda to the tortillas...it makes a surprising difference!

Get a cup of water and put it in the microwave for 1 minute.  Also, if you plan to cook them right away, turn on the stove (I put it on 3 1/2 on a electric stove on a 6 number dial) and start heating up a cast iron skillet.  If it is not well seasoned, lightly coat it with cooking spray and wipe down with a paper towel.  While that and the water heats, take your flour, salt, and garlic powder and blend together.  Then pour in the oil and get a pastry cutter and cut the oil into the flour mix.  Once well blended, take the water and pour most of it in and mix.  Add the rest as needed.  It is easier to add water to dry dough than add more flour to sticky dough.  Kneed for 2-3 minutes until the dough is smooth.  At this point, you can let it sit for awhile and come back later, or you can do what I do and start rolling out the dough.  You may or may not need to cover dough either way.  Sometimes I have to cover it halfway through, and keeping it covered can sometimes keep it too wet.  You need a wood or smooth board and a rolling pin.

Get the tortillas as thin as possible (or as thick as you like).  If you need to flour the board, the dough is too wet, but the flour on the board will solve the problem.  Make them the size you want.  Place one on the skillet, give it a quick slide around to make sure it doesn't stick (otherwise it might not be hot enough; if it cooks too slow, it dries it out, but it also burns easy if it is just a little too hot) and start rolling out the next one.  Halfway through, flip the tortilla. Then finish rolling out the next one.  By the time you are done, the tortilla is ready.  Place it in a container with a lid and a paper towel on the bottom.  Keep the lid on it.  This helps soften the tortillas, and the paper towel keeps them from getting soggy.  Keep going until you finish them all.  Then place another paper towel on top and keep the lid on. They are good for several days (at least in a dry environment), if they last that long.  Quick, easy cleanup, and healthy...what more could you ask for?

                    (Ok, so they don't look pretty and round, but no one in my house complains)

Now that you know the process, here are some other things to consider.  Experiment with other flavors-garlic works for my kids, so I don't really want to change it up. Chili powder might be a nice touch.  The type of flour you use makes a difference.  The white wheat has a more mild flavor which is why I prefer it. You can use any kind you want, but it may require adjusting the oil or water levels a bit until you like the consistency.  And you can also use a combo of all-purpose white and wheat if you prefer.  I really like the Prairie Gold 100% whole white wheat.  It is non-GMO, and it has more nutrition than the other two I have used.  And the consistency is nice.  But I can't find it where I live now.  I also really like the King Arther whole wheat white.  It is very smooth for a whole wheat flour, but it is pricy.  I don't love the Gold Medal version because it is more course, but I will use it if the others are not available.  It is also the cheapest.   You can also try different oils, but the one time I did that I was not happy with the results (this was one of the first few times I made them), and I like the health benefits olive oil.

What I love most is I have turned a family staple into something that is so much better for my family.  What healthy changes have you made to your favorite recipes, and still had everyone loving them?

Christians and sin

Being a Christian, I cringe a lot throughout the year.  I cringe at the judgement.  I cringe at the headlines. I cringe at the self-righteousness.  I cringe because of the hypocrisy that so often occurs.  I cringe because of the stories I hear about what happens behind closed doors with church leadership. I cringe because many forget what being a Christian really is.

I have a favorite poem that sums it up perfectly.  "When I Say I am a Christian" says exactly what it means to claim Christianity.  If you have never read it, I encourage you to do so.

There is one other thing that makes me cringe. Talking about sin.  And not because I am afraid to talk about it, but because everyone else thinks they have the right to judge other people's sins.  I have a slightly different take on what sin is.  Honestly, this is a relatively new revelation.  It comes from knowing God is love.  Sin leads to separation/death (spiritually speaking). And God built a bridge to forgiveness through Jesus that we must make a choice to cross.  I see sin as an act of hurting God and/or a person.  When we sin, we do not act out of love but instead selfishness, jealousy, envy, pride, etc.  Our sin separates us from others because it hurts others.

Sin is not about doing wrong, it is about damaging relationships (think about everything listed as sin and see it through the hurt it may cause, not the wrong that it might be). God wants us to love and build relationships. Some sin causes more damage than others, but to God, it is all equal, so in order to heal THAT relationship, we have to own our own sins/hurts...not somebody else doing it for us...that does not mend fences, it only leads to judgement. 

We also cannot interpret the Bible based on today's language and meaning. Sometimes, the interpreters get it wrong, or we apply current meaning instead of the historical meanings and uses of words. And it is not our job to attack anyone who sins, but only to address those who sin specifically against ourselves in order to bring healing, not to tell them how wrong they are. (I am hardly innocent, but this is what I strive for). God is about love and relationships. The old law was to show us we could not bring ourselves close to God by our works because the standards were set VERY high. Only his loving sacrifice could build the bridge that we as individuals have to choose to cross. 

So, if homosexuality(only because this is the one currently in the headlines), for example, is truly seen as a sin in God's eyes, it is not our job as a Christian to make a person repent or change; it is between that person and God and whoever else was sinned against and hurt. We can't heal a person's relationship with God. People have to do it on their own. And God is so amazing that he helps us work on our own problem areas...which are often more than enough to keep us from worrying about other people's problem areas. But we don't like to look at ourselves, so it is easier not to listen and instead look at others and focus on their "wrongs" or shortcomings.  And we can hardly expect those who are not Christians to follow what God wants.  So trying to change them is not our jobs either.  We are only to spread the gospel and show our love through service and kindness and compassion.  So who have you judged lately?  Have you asked yourself if it was your place to do so?  

My daughter is a sponge

I have a little girl who is about 2 1/2 years old.  She is amazing.  She is beautiful.  She is funny.  She is empathetic.  She is kind. Her smile lights up the world.  She is smart.  She is imaginative.  If you think I am bad, you would not be able to finish reading what my husband would say.  He is wrapped around her finger like you would not believe!

My daughter is also a sponge.  She copies everything.  She learns new words every day.  She watches a movie and tries to sing the songs.  She is a mini version of her brother half the time.  She can count and can sing the melody of the alphabet song (and sometimes she even gets the letters).  She wants to use scissors, crayons, markers, pencils and glue simply because everyone else is.  She won't be left out.  She yells at me when she is mad because she sees me yell when I am mad (ugh, one more thing I gotta work on!).  She dances and does somersaults and tries to walk on the line because the other kids are.  She wants to be in the middle of everything.  And she just soaks it all up.  She is a reflection of everyone around her, yet she is still this unique human being. 

When I see her learn, it reminds me again of our natural curiosity and desire to learn.  What happens when we are open to learning from others? What happens when we watch other people?  What happens when we can jump in the middle of something that interests us?  Just think about what it takes for a child to learn to crawl, walk, talk, eat.  No formal education required.  So what are some of the things that stick out in your mind that your toddlers and preschoolers learned on their own?

Strong-Willed? Spirited? You Bet!

When I became a mom for the first time, I read all the books.  I knew the developmental stages from college.  I knew the right and wrong ways to do things.  I knew what my parents did seemed to work. After all, my brother, my sister and I turned out fine.  I knew all the things I was supposed to do to have well-behaved kids.  Be consistent. Spare the rod, spoil the child.  Follow a schedule.  Let them cry it out. Have them sleep in their own beds.  Use time-outs.  The list goes on.

I never planned to have a c-section.  I never planned to co-sleep.  I never planned to nurse beyond a year.  I never planned on having a strong-willed or spirited son.  But life happens.  And rarely the way you planned.  As a toddler, my son was happy as could be 90% of the time.  It was that 10% that made up for it.  If he had it set in his mind not to do something, he did not do it.  It had to become his idea, which could take as long as 45 minutes at 18 months.  I know what you are thinking. Pick him up and make him.  He is the child, you are the adult.  I did that, along with every other tactic I could think of.  And I have done that for almost 8 years now (although the last couple of years, I have tried to take a more gentle approach, until I get frustrated, I still have a lot to learn!).  He is still the same happy, imaginative child who wants it HIS way.  When he gets mad, watch out!  Thankfully he is older now, so there is some reasoning to work with, but it can take a long time to get him to come around.  Raising Your Spirited Child was the book that helped me see spirited children in a whole new way.  I am thankful for that book...now if only I could remember where it is in our storage unit.

My son is loud.  He gets lost in his own world all the time.  He is sensitive to physical touch--tickling, scratching the back, play-fighting--none of it can last for long before it starts to really bother him.  He is loving and affectionate.  He knows how to speak his mind.  He is relentless and persistent.  He is an extrovert.  He loves to learn on his own terms.  He hates to be alone.  He loves to be the leader (although he doesn't quite understand leaders must also be able to follow!).  He has a hard time sitting or standing still. He makes every request a challenge.  He is extremely emotional when things don't go his way.  He will challenge everything you say with why and won't let up until he gets an answer.  It can be quite exhausting, but I would not want him any other way.  These characteristics will help pave his way into the future, and he won't let anyone stand in his way.

These characteristics also make him an ideal unschooling child.  He would "never" make it in a regular classroom.  He would be the daydreamer.  He would be the kid always talking to his neighbor.  He would be the one that never did his homework and never did assignments in class unless it interested him.  He wants to make his own path.  With unschooling, he is able to do so.  And I get the privilege of watching him discover his own journey through life instead of one someone else has laid out for him.

Do you have your own strong-willed or spirited child?  How do you make it work while honoring who he or she is? 

A glimpse into Unschooling

During the Christmas of 2010, we traveled to my mom's house.  I was pregnant, and my husband was overloaded with his classwork.  Online universities don't break for the holidays.  It was the first time I had seen the Angry Birds game.  We downloaded it for something to do.  I played it.  My husband played it.  My 4 year old son sort of played it.  Within a couple of months, my husband and I grew tired of playing, but my son started playing more and more.  Over the next couple of years, we downloaded each new version (How can you say no to 99 cents and those big blue eyes?)  He continued to learn how each game worked and that strategy was definitely involved in order to get past each level.  He also got to really practice his creative building skills with Bad Piggies.  He grew to love all the birds and those silly pigs. 

In May of 2011, my daughter was born, and my son discovered how fun it could be to make videos of all his stories he acted out.  One day, I got the brilliant idea to sit out in the Louisiana summer heat and record my son while he sat in the water playing with his toys and creating his stories.  It was the beginning of something new.  We did a lot of videos that summer.  And he watched them over and over.  And he laughed and laughed.  Having my hands full with a newborn, I grew tired of being the cameraman in all these adventures.  I dug out the tripod and taught him how he could tape his own stuff.  To this day, he continues to make videos on his own. 

Back to Angry Birds.  It was not long before Angry Birds took advantage of the popularity of their games.  They came out with the board games, which my son still loves playing with.  Angry birds and pigs appear in all kinds of stories around here.  They also came out with a line of plush toys, which he also began to collect. Much of his allowance went to these little characters.  Angry Birds became his new passion, whether he was playing with the toys or playing the games.

Eventually, my son needed help getting past the levels on the different apps, and we could not always figure it out, so we turned to YouTube.  You can find just about anything on YouTube.  This leads us to the next phase of this story of learning.  One day we came across a YouTube series filmed by a child just a few years older.  He had several stuffed Angry Birds characters, and he acted out stories.  My son watched every single episode. Again and again. Then he wanted to recreate the stories.    After reenacting his favorite videos several times, he began creating his own stories.  Then he began recording his own stories.  Then he began trying to write illustrated stories about Angry Birds.  Then he wanted to start posting his own videos.  I had to say no to that, for now.  I insisted he had to learn how to use the movie making programs and edit the videos, etc.  He needed to be proud of what he was going to put out there for the world to see.  So guess what he started learning to do a few weeks ago?  You guessed it.  MovieMaker is his new favorite program.

So over the course of a few years, since my son had the freedom and flexibility to follow his own interests, he has learned how to tell stories with beginnings and ends; he has developed his creativity; he has learned computer software; he has practiced writing stories with illustrations; he has learned how to use a camera; he has practiced typing on the computer; he is learning the ins and outs of researching topics online.  And he is not done yet.  Only time and flexibility will tell us what door will open up next.

What would you create if you had the time and freedom to truly explore on your own terms?  How would that grow you as a person?  How would those things spill over into other parts of your life?  What would you learn?  And could you ever do that sitting in a classroom with a teacher pouring out their knowledge and wisdom and telling you what you need to know instead of you figuring out what you want and need to know?

Why on earth would you unschool?

OK, so I know one thing you might be thinking after reading my intro blog, why would two highly educated adults even consider unschooling?  Homeschooling is understandable.  After all, we would have so much to offer with our backgrounds, and kids who are homeschooled regularly perform higher on tests and are more prepared for college. So why go the route of not schooling our kids?  A year ago, I felt the same way.  I was a bit of a snob about the whole idea of unschooling when I met my first unschooler.  Of course, I had no idea what it was when I first heard of it, but I knew I did not like the sound of it.  Six months later, that all changed.

See, I began first grade with my son with the best laid intentions.  I had all the subjects planned out.  I knew what we would cover every day for weeks in advance. I was tailoring everything to my son and his style of learning (so I thought) that I had discovered during preschool and kindergarten.  I wanted to be flexible, and I wanted to make it fun.  Much to my dismay and frustration, my son was not on board.  For a child that loved to learn new things, he sure HATED school.  No matter how easy (as in short) I made it, I still met with resistance.  (Imagine a 15 minute assignment taking 2 hours on a regular basis!)  I mixed things up in hopes it would make a difference, but when it came to the traditional bookwork or worksheet type stuff or anything hand written (and even some of the computer math games), the battle continued.  I was at a loss, so I checked several homeschool books out of the library about different approaches.  One book had a questionnaire/survey to complete that would tell me what style best fit.  I was curious, so I took it.  Turns out relaxed homeschooling and unschooling were very high matches.  Being unfamiliar with both, I had to investigate.  I visited website after website, read blog after blog, and joined a Christian unschooling group to learn more.  (What can I say, some of the regular unschooling groups out there were just a bit too radical for me.) The more I read and learned and heard about success stories of unschooling along with public school failures, I knew I had found my new approach.

But I bet you are still wondering what on earth unschooling really is.  The best way to describe it is a partnership between parent and child in learning (and many people eventually apply the approach to their whole lives and become what is known as a radical unschooler).  It is about valuing the relationship between parent and child.  It is about supporting a child's interests and finding value in everything they learn or do.  At the same time, it is also opening the door to new possibilities.  I can't just turn my back and say "Go do your own thing."  I have to be right there with them on their journey, especially in the earlier years.  It is about learning to read, write and do math for a purpose or out of necessity in order to accomplish a goal or to pursue a passion.  It is about not pressuring kids to perform or meet a certain standard but instead encouraging them to develop their natural desire to learn through conversation, asking questions, curiosity and exploration.  It is also about saying "yes" more because the possibility for learning is EVERYWHERE! 

Most importantly,  it is about letting your kids see you passionate about something and pursuing it.  What better way to lead by example than following your own dreams?  So if you could do it all again, would you have followed the same path or tried something so radical as living life? 

Am I really doing this?

I have decided to embark on a new adventure.  A writing adventure where I open my life up to all of you.  My experiences, feelings, emotions and opinions.  Being the introvert that I am, can I really pour out my heart and soul to the world?  Can I let there be a window into my world that no one has looked into before? Is it worth the risk?  There is no time like the present to find out!

I have always had a passion for learning, education, and helping others achieve their goals and dreams.  I have two kids that I homeschool, or better yet, unschool (ages 7 and 2) and a newly married 21 year old step-son who serves in the Army.  I have an MA in Adult Learning, and my husband is in the final stages of completing his PhD in the counseling field.  We currently live in the Southwest.  My journey since getting married 10 years ago has led me from here to the east coast and back.  I am about as white as people come, but I am also about as colorblind as a person can get.  I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and hope for the best in them too.

When it comes to education, my eyes have been opened wide over the years.  It amazes me everyday the passion my children naturally have for learning.  I have come to understand what part a formal education really plays in life.  Because of that, I am learning to live life in a meaningful way and getting priorities straight in hopes my kids will carry that into their futures.

I am a Christian, but don't let that scare you away.  I see God as love and Jesus as the greatest gift.  And I believe in forgiveness and second chances and that it is not my job to fix individuals--I have enough to fix about myself!

So, now I ask myself what do I have to offer the world?  My insight from a life of experiences far different from my plan from 20 years ago.  My compassion for others and the desire to inspire and comfort and encourage others.   My understanding and ability to be real, kind, and fair.  And my ability to know that while I am knowledgeable about a lot of things, I do not claim to be an expert (although my husband might disagree), and I also know there is always more to learn.  So with that, I hope to make a positive difference in some small or big way in your life, amongst all the craziness of raising a family in today's world.  I hope to share with you the ups and downs and the struggles and successes.  I hope to share with you our new and old traditions, family recipes that create common bonds, and the things that did and didn't work for us.  I want to share a glimpse into our world of everyday living and learning and helping others realize there are a lot of things that are more important to life than a degree and a high paying job (although they can be nice!).  So will you walk along side me in this journey of life?