As a mom, I love free play. It takes the responsibility of my kids being entertained off of me and places it on them. That, of course, allows me more time to do all the fun things I need to do like clean the bathrooms, cook dinner, wash laundry.... It also also much more affordable than summer camps and sports programs and dance lessons. And there is a lot less driving around...which is about to become a much bigger deal now that I have moved to Rural, America. And we all know that imaginative play mostly goes away as we get older, so not having to come up with characters and stories with my children all day long is just another benefit.
In the world of raising kids and education, free play is a hot topic. It is apparently something that has been lost to helicopter parenting and a desire to get a head-start on our futures. How important is it, really? Are our children really better off playing in the backyard by themselves or with the neighborhood kids, or should they be involved in a multitude of activities? Or is there an ideal balance? Since I homeschool my kids, the extra activities are probably a benefit. But how many extra activities? When do our kids reach the overload point? I suppose it is different for different kids. Some thrive with a lot of structure. Others rebel against structure like it is a force to be reckoned with. The extras definitely expose our kids to new experiences, but at what point do they need to discover their own experiences, good or bad? What do they need in order to discover the best -and worst- of themselves?
There are some day camps that apparently have adult supervision called "loitering with intent." The question is whether or not that in itself interferes with kids and their exploration of their worlds and developing friendships or discovering enemies and how to deal with them. They certainly would not be allowed to participate in any type of risky behavior like walking on top of the monkey bars. Somebody might get sued for an injury. And the cost of emergency care and lousy health insurance would break the bank, so I am not sure I could allow it under my supervision, either. It would have to happen when I wasn't looking! Which is exactly the point for some people and free play. Kids need to be able to play in a way that allows for risk. That allows them to push themselves and find their true limits...sometimes with the "help" or their friends. You know the ones that call you a a wimp or a baby or a chicken for not doing something. That, in turn, pushes you to do something that is not necessarily a smart choice, but you survive anyway. When we are able to take calculated risks as a kid on a smaller scale, we learn how to take them as adults.
The question remains, "how much are we hurting our kids by NOT letting them do things on their own, unsupervised?" The general public and law enforcement seem to think kids are not able to do things on their own. Kids can't be left by themselves in a car until they are old enough to drive. They can't go to the park by themselves across the street while mom is working. They can't be left alone for a few minutes when they are a reasonable age to go get milk at the corner market. They can't go out in the morning and be back at dusk. They get together with friends through arranged playdates, where the parents are watching their every move, interfering when the kids start fighting over a toy, etc. Everything must be controlled or supervised, or we are hurting our children...at least that is what we are led to believe.
There has been a lot of research that shows what kids are losing out on when they are not given free, unsupervised play. This one applies to preschoolers, but the principles carry over to older children. Free play allows children to develop social skills, problem solve, create, and think for themselves. It makes a different part of their brain work. It also enables them to be better students in the classroom. It helps students concentrate better and makes them more willing to sit and listen, at least for a little while. Kids diagnosed with ADHD often show great improvement when allowed that necessary free time. It also helps them learn how to overcome boredom on their own.
In a world where our kids are staying at home longer, and where they are labeled as "entitled" or "lazy," we have to stop and think about what parents are doing wrong. It seems like giving kids a lot more free time to discover who they are would be a great and easy place to start. It seems like giving them a chance to figure out how to overcome boredom on their own may push kids to figure out what really inspires them, so they will seek things out instead of having everything handed to them. It seems if kids are allowed to develop their creativity and thinking skills in life, they may be more prepared to solve the problems we are surely going to face in the future....even some of the ones we currently face.
Growing up, what did you gain through free play? Do you think kids are better off with a lot of structure or a lot less structure?
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