Since before having my first child, I have been preached the message about screen time. The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly believes infants through the age of two should not have ANY screen time. Beyond that, they believe it should be limited to two hours. Screen time, of course, is any time spent in front of a TV, computer, game system, or smartphone. I did my best to follow the guidelines the first year and a half, and I always had it in the back of my mind for the next few years. At the younger ages, however, every show and game seems to have preschool educational value. My son definitely benefited. He knew his letters and sounds, knew how to count, and even learned to add before I even began to think about how I wanted to approach homeschooling him. I could really see the benefit in screen time while at the same time being worried about that two hour time limit.
When a child is up from 8am in the morning until almost 9pm at night, how is he supposed to spend thirteen hours of his day? Take away three hours for baths and eating (that is being generous), and there are still ten hours in the day. A trip to the park for an hour and a half plus driving still leaves eight hours. Playing with toys for another four hours still leaves a stay-at-home child four more hours to fill each day. What happens when the weather is bad or a family lives in an apartment with not a lot of space to spare inside or out? What if it is just too hot or too cold to be outside? What happens when mom is sick every day during pregnancy and then has to care for a newborn? Like it or not, sometimes, screen time can become a much needed babysitter for a stay-at-home mom with no (or limited) extended family support. But that concern about too much screen time is still there.
Fast forward to school age. Children spend a lot of time sitting at a desk in a classroom. Sure, they have recess and lunch, and teachers often incorporate movement into the learning, at least until it is expected they are old enough to be able to sit still. But much of the six or more hours a day they are at school, they are sitting and learning. No wonder AAP preaches two hours. If a child spends the better part of ten hours doing nothing but sitting between school, homework, car or bus rides, and meal times, of course they need to get up and move. Their bodies need it. But do these same rules apply in homeschooling and unschooling?
What is even more interesting is that the recommendation has shifted recently. There should be no more than two hours on screens for entertainment purposes, but if it is deemed educational, then the limit is not as important. To me, that does not make sound science. Either it is two hours or it is not. And in an unschooling environment, just about everything a child does is considered to have learning value. If that is the case, where do we draw the line? Isn't it better to instead strive for the two hours a day recommended for our children for structured physical activity and active free play? If my son was on his feet playing and exercising for two hours a day, why would it be necessary to limit screen time if he is learning so much during that time?
Some people may still say limits are necessary. And in some cases, they are. However, an interesting thing often happens when kids do not have limited screen time or they have very generous limits. My son loves to play video games, computer learning games, watch tv, and watch YouTube videos. He also likes to imitate the YouTube game videos he has seen and makes his own. He creates his own commentary while he plays a game. When he starts playing a new game, he will want to play for hours for a few days. Then he gets off and may go two days with minimal screen time and use that time instead to play and create. Surprisingly, there are also quite a few ways that life itself places natural limits. Running errands, going to the park, working on Cub Scout projects, reading books at bedtime, eating meals and taking care of assigned responsibilities all naturally limit screen time in my home without having to battle my son to get him off and without me having to monitor and police him. Of course, my son loves to do other activities too. That is why offering options and exposing kids to new things and opportunities is a key element of unschooling.
In all reality, excessive screen time, in my experience, is a symptom of something else entirely. When parents are concerned about it, then it is time to dig a little deeper and look at the whole picture. Do their kids lead stressful or busy lives? Is screen time an outlet to escape all that? Are parents too busy to spend quality time with their kids? Are there problems at home, and the screens are used as a distraction? Are they isolated, and playing online games is one of the few ways they can spend time with their friends or other people? Do parents have unrealistic expectations of how much screen time is reasonable for their kids? Do they really know how their kids are spending time on screens? Do they take an interest in what their kids are doing, or do they just get frustrated that they are on screens ALL THE TIME? Is scarcity vs. abundance in play?
There are a lot of "experts" out there that tell us all how things should be done. Sometimes they are right. And sometimes they are wrong. Sometimes what the experts say fits one child and not the other. As parents, if we listen to advice with discernment and with an understanding of our own children, we can better choose what advice is useful and what is not. Every family dynamic, every child, and every environment is a little different. The only ones that can decide what is truly best for their families is the families themselves. They have to look at their own evidence and make decisions and figure out what works best in their homes. In my family, there is a lot of screen time. But it is not a waste of time. A lot comes out of it. We are also in a season of our lives where other options are more limited. And when this season of our lives changes, so will screen time-naturally. It ebbs and flows, but it is not a bad thing in our home because we don't allow it to interfere with life. It instead becomes one aspect of life, along with many other pieces that complete the puzzle.
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